Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical attacks, mental or emotional abuse and financial abuse. These are all forms of domestic violence, regardless of whether they are used in isolation or together. For people in an abusive relationship it’s rarely as simple as just packing up and leaving, as a lack of financial options or anywhere else to go are common problems.
If you have left or are preparing to leave an abusive relationship, there is a range of government resources and assistance available. These can be incredibly helpful and are worth looking into. We list these later in this guide.
Victims and survivors of domestic violence often face a range of financial difficulties, both before and after leaving a relationship. It can help to be aware of these before planning your exit strategy.
An abuser might take out a credit card in their partner’s name and rack up large debts on it, or take out a home loan or other financing in their partner’s name. This is even easier if you still have joint accounts. The victim may have been coerced into it, or might not even know that it happened until a collections agency comes for the money. This can have the added effect of damaging a survivor’s credit score, making it even harder for them to find housing or employment, buy a car or secure financing later.
A financially abusive partner may have taken control of all economic aspects of the relationship, which can be difficult to get back after separation. It's important to make sure you have access to enough money to pay for day-to-day living expenses.
Finding safe and affordable housing is one of the biggest challenges facing survivors. In many cases they will not have a rental history, or will be burdened with coerced debt. Sometimes the only affordable options are too far from work, too close to the abuser or otherwise unsuitable. Survivors will often not have their name on the property lease, which may give the abuser further leverage.
Financially abusive relationships are largely characterised by the abuser taking control of financials for both and holding all assets in their own name. This can give them an upper hand in divorce and related legal proceedings. This may be compounded by the fact that abusers may be prepared to fight for every cent while victims mostly just want to leave.
Abusers have a motivation to prevent their victims from achieving financial independence. This can extend as far as deliberately sabotaging employment opportunities by showing up at their partner’s job and causing trouble or demanding that they skip work to do other things. Sometimes victims might need to skip work to hide their injuries, and may through no fault of their own be labelled as a poor employee. If the survivor entered into marriage at a young age they may also be left with no employment history or work experience to fall back on.
You can access government domestic violence support services by calling 132 850 or going to one of their offices.
The Australian government offers a range of financial assistance and other support for survivors of domestic violence.
You may be eligible for government support if:
You are also able to access the services of government social workers. They can provide:
This is the national family violence and sexual assault counselling service. Operating 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you can call 1800 737 732 to access free and confidential professional counselling services.
This app is able to connect you to helpful services in your local and state areas, including legal, housing, financial and children’s services. It explains what to expect when you get in touch with different services. Family and friends can also download the app to gather more information and help you out.
Call 131 114 any time for domestic violence crisis support.
Men are also victims of domestic violence, and can call 1300 789 978 for family and domestic abuse support.
You can find a more complete list of national and state-based support and assistance programs at White Ribbon.
An abusive relationship doesn’t always start off that way. It can sometimes be difficult to tell when one’s partner is being abusive. Similarly, it can also be hard to tell when someone you know might be in a violent relationship.
This is particularly true of financial and psychological abuse. These are just as much domestic violence as physical assault is, and can be equally relevant indicators that a relationship has broken down.
Economic abuse is defined as behaviour that is coercive, deceptive, manipulative or otherwise unreasonably controls another against their wishes and deprives them of financial autonomy. Some examples of economic abuse are:
If a partner is doing any of these it may qualify as domestic violence. Note that economic abuse is not exclusive to couples, and can also be perpetrated by carers against their charges, parents against children or between other parties.
Psychological and emotional abuse can very broadly be defined as offensive, harassing or intimidating behaviour towards another person. The precise definition depends on the circumstances, but may include behaviours like:
Spotting emotional and psychological abuse can be difficult, even in one’s own relationship. One simple way of identifying it is by what happens when the abuser is asked to stop. If they refuse, respond with threats or do anything other than stop, it may be qualified as domestic violence.
If you are about to leave, remember to take all possible steps to ensure your safety, that you are not followed and that you have somewhere to go. The most severe domestic violence, including homicides, often occur when the victim tries to walk out the door. If you are ever in immediate danger, your only priorities should be to get to safety and call 000.
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