The Block recap: Less money, more problems (30.10.2016)
The Blockheads blame the budget for their poor performance.
We started last night’s episode of The Block with several of the contestants pulling an all-nighter to get their challenge apartment rooms done. Carleen and Dan, for whom an “all-nighter” is going to bed at 9pm, were all set to turn in when their poorly-installed vanity fell off the wall. So Dan and Carleen’s vanity led to a disaster? It’s such an on-the-nose commentary on their hubris, it almost seems like an act of God. Take a knee, theologians. Your work is done.
Pictured: Dan and Carleen hard at work. By Unknown draughtsman, 18th c. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Meanwhile, pranksters Andy and Ben messed around with the lighting in the “home of the future” while the other contestants were trying to work. Looking to get in on the tomfoolery, Will used his finger to write “I love Will” on a bespoke piece of art Kim and Chris had ordered from Newcastle. Permanently defacing someone else’s property is HILARIOUS in and of itself, but the fact that the artist no doubt poured her heart and soul into it and delivered it personally just upped the comedic stakes and pushed the act well into the realm of full-blown psychopathy. Lest you worry that Will ruined the joke by doing something as silly as apologising for ruining Kim and Chris’ artwork, we’ll put your mind at ease.
That bit of anti-social behaviour aside, it was time for the room judging. This week, justice would be blind, as the judges would view each room without knowing which team worked on it. First up were Andy and Ben with their master ensuite. The judges had a good time playing with some of the room’s voice-activated features, such as privacy frosting on the glass door that can be activated by saying “privacy please”. The 100% chance the unit’s eventual tenants will forget to do that at some point, probably while pooping, was not mentioned. Knowing that it will happen is its own reward.
Andy and Ben's master ensuite. Source: Channel 9.
Next was Carleen and Dan’s bathroom. Showing their usual attention to quality and detail, the couple had reattached their fallen vanity without connecting it to the plumbing. Fortunately, no-one turned on the taps. All of the judges were impressed, and guessed that the room had been done by Karlie and Will.
Carleen and Dan's bathroom. Source: Channel 9.
Unfortunately, the room that was actually done by Karlie and Will didn’t get such an enthusiastic response. The judges felt the couple’s guest room was let down by its styling, and made note of a chair that was too small for the room. Karlie agreed, blaming Kim’s budget for the room’s shortcomings, but Kim pointed out that the couple had $2,318.46 spare that they could have used. So what were you whinging about again Karlie? Did you lose that money down the back of your impossibly small chair?
Karlie and Will's guest room. Source: Channel 9.
Next was Julia and Sasha’s kids bedroom, and the judges were severely underwhelmed. The spare, grey room would be a great environment to raise kids in if you want to train them to be telekinetic government assassins, but not so much if you wanted them to be happy or well-adjusted.
Pictured: Julia and Sasha's bedroom.
Julia echoed Karlie in blaming the budget for the girls’ spartan child jail.
Julia and Sasha's kids torture room/bedroom. Source: Channel 9.
Kim and Chris were up next, and in a shock development, the couple in control of the money ended up with the nicest space. Kudos to the pair for finishing their terrace, though, while fielding constant complaints about budgeting. The judges loved the terrace’s styling and design, and were particularly wowed by the outdoor cinema.
Kim and Chris' terrace. Source: Channel 9.
Now it was time for the scores with first place getting $20,000 off their reserve, second place getting $15,000 off their reserve and third place getting $10,000 off their reserve.
|Kim & Chris||9.5||9.5||9.5||28.5/30|
|Julia & Sasha||8||8||7||23/30|
|Andy & Ben||8.5||8.5||9||26/30|
|Carleen & Dan||9||9||9.5||27.5/30|
|Karlie & Will||8||8||8||24/30|
In what was the shock of the week, it seemed the other contestants WEREN’T happy about Kim and Chris’ victory. It's going to be a happy final fortnight, folks.