The Block recap: Haters gonna hate (7.11.2016)

Adam Smith 8 November 2016

The block 2016 episode 44

The judges have plenty of hate to spread around.

It was time for final room reveals last night in The Block’s challenge apartment as we limp toward this season’s finish. At stake was a collective $45,000 knocked off the reserve price of the winners’ apartments. The first place team would get a $20,000 break, with a $15,000 reduction for the second place team and $10,000 for third place. The bottom two would wallow in shame and penury for the remainder of their existence.

As the teams head toward their final 48 hours, some were feeling wistful while others, like viewers, can’t wait for the debacle to end. Kim confided that she was “sick of brushing concrete through [her] hair”. That seems like the kind of thing you can stop doing anytime you want, Kim.

Kim’s bizarre tonsorial choices aside, Dan was feeling emotional about the experience coming to end. He had a good cry, and we all wept with him for our lost innocence.

We were also treated to some more shameless plugs for Telstra’s “Home of the Future” and its voice-command wizardry. Julia stood in awe as the kitchen’s coffee maker sprung to life with a simple voice command. It’s nice to know the owners of the challenge apartment will be well caffeinated when their house goes crazy and murders them.

Finally, it was time for judging, and Shaynna, Darren and Neale were joined by real estate guru John McGrath. The judges were immediately wowed by the building’s foyer, and Shaynna went so far as to say the space made her “want to weep”. This whole series has made us want to weep, Shaynna, so we understand your sentiment. Julia echoed Shaynna’s sentiments, saying the foyer looked straight out of The Great Gatsby. Given that book is a stinging rebuke of materialism and excess, that might not be the compliment you think it is, Julia.

The block 2016 foyer

The judging then moved on to the rooftop, and after being told that Darren was struck “literally” speechless, the show then cut to an extended sequence of Darren talking.

The block 2016 rooftop

Those pleasantries out of the way, it was time for the judges to heap our contestants with ridicule. First were Kim and Chris, who had the task of renovating the hallway, laundry and powder room. The first thing the judges were greeted with was the massive bank of servers and computers that run the home’s smart technology. Nothing feels homier than reminding yourself you’ve put your entire life in the hands of a cold, emotionless robot. Overall, the judges were underwhelmed. Shaynna called the decor “confused”, while Neale saw it as “undercooked”. Kim and Chris took the criticism with their usual aplomb. Chris bashed the judges for failing to acknowledge hard work, but if hard work was the only benchmark for success, Florence Foster Jenkins would have been the most celebrated singer in history.

The block 2016 Kim and Chris laundry The block 2016 Kim and Chris powder room The block 2016 Kim and Chris' hallway

Next up were Andy and Ben, who took on the master bedroom. To say the judges were unimpressed would be an understatement, and who could blame them? The boys’ decor looked like a room in an unrenovated Travelodge. Neale particularly hated a piece of 3-D resin artwork, but perhaps this was just because Will hadn’t found time to deface it. The judges also hated the walk-in robe, and Neale named it the worst room of The Block so far. Yikes.

The block 2016 Andy and Ben's master suite

Julia and Sasha faced the cantankerous judges next, who finally found something to like in the couple’s kitchen. The judges were wowed by the girls’ island bench, the decision to include a library ladder and the styling of the pantry. Shaynna also proclaimed that the wine fridge “screamed luxury”, which may indicate that it’s haunted.

The block 2016 Julia and Sasha challenge kitchenDan and Carleen’s living and dining room were next to face scrutiny. As usual, the couple had finished with time to spare. Perhaps they should have been a bit less frugal with their time, as the judges found the space ordinary and the furniture oddly placed. They also picked on a wall on which Dan and Carleen had hung two small prints, calling it the “blankest wall they’d ever seen”. Obviously they’ve never seen a blank wall. The dining room didn’t fare much better, with a tiny dining room table and some divisive, kitschy artwork. Neale called the spaces “undercooked and half baked”, which could be easily rectified by the adjacent kitchen.

The block 2016 dan and carleens living room

Finally came Karlie and Will’s vast terrace. The judges loved the entertaining area and landscaping, as well as the kids’ play area. They were primarily impressed with the terrace’s size, which to be fair has more to do with the way spatial dimensions work than it does with anything Will and Karlie did.

The block 2016 Will and Karlie's courtyard

ContestantsDarrenShaynnaNealeJohnTotal
Kim and Chris656522
Julia and Sasha1010101040
Andy and Ben556319
Dan and Carleen777627
Karlie and Will98.58.57.533.5

The scores tallied, Julia and Sasha scored a runaway win with perfect scores across the board. Karlie and Will took second place, and Dan and Carleen managed to squeak in with a third place finish.

More great ideas from finder.com.au

Get a life insurance quote
Get a life insurance quote

Find out what it costs to protect yourself and your family

More info...
Refinancing home loans
Refinancing home loans

Choose from offers with rates as low as 3.39% p.a.

More info...
Google Pixel
Google Pixel

Compare plans for Google's flagship Android phone

More info...
Christmas ideas
Christmas ideas

Visit our Christmas homepage for gift ideas, markets, travel & deals

More info...

Ask a Question

You are about to post a question on finder.com.au

  • Do not enter personal information (eg. surname, phone number, bank details) as your question will be made public
  • finder.com.au is a financial comparison and information service, not a bank or product provider
  • We cannot provide you with personal advice or recommendations
  • Your answer might already be waiting – check previous questions below to see if yours has already been asked

Disclaimer: At finder.com.au we provide factual information and general advice. Before you make any decision about a product read the Product Disclosure Statement and consider your own circumstances to decide whether it is appropriate for you.
Rates and fees mentioned in comments are correct at the time of publication.
By submitting this question you agree to the finder.com.au privacy policy, receive follow up emails related to finder.com.au and to create a user account where further replies to your questions will be sent.

Ask a question
feedback