The Block recap: Boomers get blasted (09.10.2016)
Who was too lazy to even attempt to finish their rooms?
Based on last week's daily floods of incompetence, we always knew this was going to be unpleasant. But even we were surprised by just how badly some of The Block pairings performed at crunch time.
Coming into reveal day, all the couples were getting on with finishing their hallway, laundry and powder room. Carleen and Dan and Karlie and Will were informed that their floors are 15mm too high. Karlie and Will got to it by grinding and sanding back their concrete, while Carleen and Dan had already laid their underfloor heating over their flooring and would need to rip up their timber subfloor to fix the issue.
Upon returning from the shops Carleen felt she needed to take the frustration out on ForeDan, as she somehow deemed him responsible for their floors being too high. Fair enough. He is, after all, in charge of all spatial dimensions.
Carleen's wrath amused the always-clowning Andy, possibly because he knows he won't wake up next to her.
In trying to work out their next step Carleen and Dan opted to stand around and ponder what one can only assume are life’s big questions, rather than following Will’s lead and just getting on with what needed to be done.
Karlie and Will's floors are fixed. Source: Channel 9.
Then we went upstairs to find an undeniably stupid decision made by Sasha to leave Julia in charge of organising the tradies while she went to the shops. This ended in Julia and Sasha being on the phone the whole time and Sasha returning to a horrendous worksite. Looks like the girls won’t be winning the cleanest worksite award anytime soon.
Valentine's Day may also be messy.
After a day of pondering, well – something, Carleen and Dan decided to just give up and not finish their rooms for this week. Would this decision put them squarely in the running for the Chump jackets? Frankly, we hope so, but Julia and Sasha are giving this pair of long-in-the-tooth lazybones a run for their lethargic money.
The lack of completed work caused Sasha to snap at their builder Leon, which led to him walking off the site. With the tradies gone, Julia inspected the hallway from a distance and seemed to think she saw a bow in the plaster, then managed to also convince Sasha of its existence. Then on inspecting the newly cleaned floorboards, they belatedly noticed the walls were apparently not parallel either. This put them in a complete meltdown and in a move that would shame any normal Block contestant, they also gave up.
So now we have Carleen and Dan and Julia and Sasha abandoning all hope of a prize; all we can look forward to is a fight for the wooden spoon, which might at least add a useful decorator touch and distract from the wonky walls and fubar floors.
Sasha's temper runs high at Leon. Source: Channel 9.
But could there be a third team out of the race this week as well? The always-cheerful but frequently craptastic boys had a long list of to-dos before reveal.
Indeed, the list seems longer than the trip from Melbourne to Geelong, and even less pleasant. However, they sacrificed sleep, echoing Will and Karlie in a last-minute bout of zombie painting to get everything ready. The lazy task-abandoners were sound asleep, hopefully suffering from unpleasant nightmares.
Judging time! Karlie and Will were up first and after their issues with their floor height, they were just happy to have completed their rooms. The judges were impressed, with Shaynna loving the ceilings and Neale commenting on the beautiful doors down the hallway: “these doors could sell the apartment”. Once again, why hire an auctioneer? Darren loved the colour choices with the light floors and walls, and thought the dark doors made everything work really well. Shaynna loved the desk area, but Neale didn’t like the wall-mounted plants. (And really, who does like wall-mounted plants?)
Will and Karlie's hallway. Source: Channel 9.
Will and Karlie's powder room. Source: Channel 9.
Moving onto the laundry, all the judges agreed the palette was consistent and all the finishes were beautiful, as was the powder room. (Stop using that term!) All the judges also agreed that they had hit all three spaces out of the park for the potential buyer.
Will and Karlie's laundry. Source: Channel 9.
Next on the chopping block were experienced renovators/professional sloths Carleen and Dan. Darren's first word on entering their renovator slum was "Wow!" But not the good kind of "wow". The kind of "wow" uttered by someone who's just happened upon a grisly accident.
Shaynna added that it was “a little bit of deja vu”. Despite the fact that the hall was unfinished, Shaynna still felt that it looked like it would be a very generic hotel-like space that didn’t blend with their apartment. The judges were also befuddled by the fact that there wasn’t even paint on the walls or ceilings.
They understood the floor issue but why not spray these areas? Carleen seemed to think lack of a time was an adequate excuse, despite the fact the couple seem to have spent most of the week in bed.
Dan and Carleen's hallway. Source: Channel 9.
Upon entering the laundry, the judges realised there were still manufacturers' stickers on the cupboards. Then Darren and Neale noticed some issues with the splashback tile not being laid correctly.
Dan said he was disgusted that they would pick on those issues rather than whether they liked or disliked the tiles. Everyone's disgusted, Dan, but not necessarily with that.
Dan and Carleen's laundry. Source: Channel 9.
Moving onto the powder room, Darren was optimistic that this would finally show some evidence of effort. Sorry, Daz. In fact this was less finished than their laundry with all the amenities still in their boxes.
This caused Neale to comment on a sticker on the box reading 'bathroom happiness' : “look at that box. It should say bathroom unhappiness.” Good one, Neale. The Melbourne Comedy Festival awaits your call.
Dan called the feedback a monumental disaster. A disaster, I would say, usually occurs when you try everything and nothing works, not when you try nothing and nothing works. Carleen’s parting words: "If we had a chance to win we would have stayed up all night, if you're not going to win, go to bed.” One can only hope Nine turns this pithy quote into a motivational poster.
Carleen's words of wisdom.
Next up were Andy and Ben, the budget-bothered boys from Geelong, who started the week on a downer finding out they in fact owed money for their extra ensuite. However, a win of handy product placement cash during the week reinvigorated them and they did get over the finish line.
Andy and Ben's hallway. Source: Channel 9.
Ben took the lead with the styling this week and went uber-cheap, which didn't thrill the judges. Descriptions bandied about included it being very bland, undercooked, cheap and nasty, inexperienced styling, awful styling on a beautiful cabinet. But there were some kinder moments.
Andy and Ben's powder room. Source: Channel 9.
Shaynna was glad to see timber upon entering the boys' apartment, with Darren saying it was a really nice colour. Darren was also pleased to see that it was finished and the floor was at the right height but Neale added “that is about all I am glad to see”.
Neale continued that it felt “actually horrible and is not the entrance to a luxury apartment.” Shaynna did comment on the quality of the painting for this week with Neale adding that any issues are fixable having created quite good bones.
The judges were impressed with the laundry, with the pop of colour used in there being very popular in the deco era, though it's questionable whether the actually knew that, Art Deco not being a key topic in the primary curriculum. Neale added that stylistically the laundry had a bit of “pizazz which is what we have come to expect from the boys.” The powder room was more cruelly dismissed by Darren as “weird”, noting that they haven’t done any favours to room's proportions by having everything run long and high and thin.
Andy and Ben's laundry. Source: Channel 9.
And then we hit drop-out zone #2 with Sasha and Julia. The judges seemed disappointed when entering the girls apartment but Shaynna still offered some positive feedback on the handful of elements that were finished, including the panelling, cornicing and lights.
The judges couldn’t see anything they didn’t like except the lack of paint on the walls, with Neale adding “it could have been so beautiful.” Darren then got out a laser measure as he just couldn’t see where the insurmountable issue with the hallway was. Upon measuring the width between the walls to see what the difference was he found a variant of 1mm with Darren calling them “master built” and “perfectly parallel".
Scott commented that “as a chippy a 9-10m hallway I’d give a tolerance of 5mm”. Sasha's response? It would have been nice to know that last night. Yeah, hindsight's a bitch, isn't it?
To emphasise the moment, we cut to some commentary from the girls frenemies' Kim and Chris: “wah wah wah, we lost a builder on Thursday...and they're crying over one [a wall] that was built.”
Julia and Sasha's hallway. Source: Channel 9.
Julia and Sasha's laundry. Source: Channel 9.
Back to the judges, and they all agreed with Darren when he called it “an imaginary issue” with Neale adding “a costly one now too.” Into the laundry, another source of wasted potential.
Darren pulled out a great metaphor saying: “why run a marathon to stop a metre from the finish line?” Well, because you're tired, Darren. Didn't you see Carleen's motivational poster?
Shaynna added that this had the bones to win the competition, and the judges also loved the girls' powder room. Shaynna was absolutely beside herself wondering what stopped the girls from painting through the night as it was all stunning. Darren then pointed out that the girls had spent a lot of money on the tiles in the powder room and the laundry and would need the $10,000 this week adding “by the look of it, it was theirs to lose and they’ve lost it.”
Julia and Sasha's powder room. Source: Channel 9.
Last but certainly not least were last week’s winners Kim and Chris, who after hearing the feedback for this week's drop-outs from Carleen and Dan and Julia and Sasha, were understandably hopeful that they would get great feedback simply for finishing. Shaynna and Darren both loved the colour of the floors, with Shaynna also saying the best thing they ever did was get the lighting designer as all the lighting was gorgeous. She also felt that the bones of the area were great, but thought the whole area needed to be restyled.
The comments from the judges about re-styling went down about as well as a pig on a spit at a vegan wedding, and we kind of sympathise; after all, this room was actually finished.
Kim and Chris' hallway. Source: Channel 9.
Moving onto the laundry Shaynna said “I feel like I’m in a concrete bunker”, Darren however pointed out that he felt the only thing that didn’t work was the choice tile on the wall. He continued that he did like how the tiles tied back into the main ensuite, and that elements were now becoming consistent across the apartment.
Into the powder room, and all the judges could offer was negative feedback, with Neale saying that it felt like a public toilet and Shaynna agreeing. Darren compared it to a prison cell. Kim and Chris rejected that critique, noting that it matched the main ensuite.
Kim and Chris' laundry. Source: Channel 9.
Kim and Chris' powder room. Source: Channel 9.
And when the points were being tallied, there were some surprises. Darren gave the unfinished girls' apartment a 6.5/10, just one point below Kim and Chris’ 7.5/10, much to the dismay of the latter. Karlie and Will sailed off into victory, but it will be another tough week.
In particular, with budgets this low how will all the couples get their kitchens finished this week? It will be tough, but we can offer one clear piece of advice: get your lazy behinds out of bed.
|Contestants||Darren's score||Shaynna's score||Neale's score||Final score|
|Kim & Chris||7.5||7||7||21.5/30|
|Julia & Sasha||6.5||5||5||16.5/30|
|Andy & Ben||7||7||7||21/30|
|Carleen & Dan||5||3||3||11/30|
|Karlie & Will||9||9||9.5||27.5/30|