The Block recap: A costly wager (04.10.2016)
A team puts it all on the line for some much-needed funds.
Having already faced the judges, it was time last night on The Block for the contestants to face each other.
First up were Kim and Chris, whose master bedroom Neale had proclaimed “the most glamorous” he’d ever seen on The Block. The pair were confident about their room, and Chris said “it sells itself”. If that’s the case, it should save the couple money on an auctioneer.
Most of the contestants agreed with Neale’s assessment, and appreciated the couple’s sprawling “apartment within an apartment”. Most, that is, except arch-rivals Julia and Sasha. The pair said the space was “weird”, and Julia called the carpet terrible. How much of this was genuine criticism and how much was solely because it was Kim and Chris’ room is up for debate.
Julia doesn't like Kim and Chris' carpet choice. Source: Channel 9.
Julia and Sasha were next, and the contestants appreciated the girls’ luxurious finishes. The touches of glam had Andy and Ben lamenting their own lack of funds, though. Julia and Sasha’s wardrobe showed off Michael Kors watches and designer handbags. The boys are so low on funds they’d be lucky to afford a suit from Vinnie’s that someone died in.
Next up for judgement were Karlie and Will. The contestants, like the judges, loved the feature wall. Carleen remarked that the room didn’t need anything besides the beautiful carved timber wall, though potential buyers might appreciate the fact that it also has a bed.
Dan and Carleen were next to face scrutiny, after having finished a narrow half-point away from being Chumps. Their miniature wardrobe didn’t escape notice, as Andy and Ben found the Chump Jacket far too big to fit.
The chump jacket doesn't fit in Dan and Carleen's wardrobe. Source: Channel 9.
Finally came the week’s Chumps. Andy and Ben underwhelmed the judges with their master bedroom’s bachelor pad styling, and they underwhelmed their fellow contestants as well. The styling reminded Carleen of a “bad teenage man cave”, and it appeared the boys hadn’t even been bothered to make the bed. The Chump Jackets seem to have been well and truly earned.
Andy and Ben's unmade bed helped them earn chump jackets. Source: Channel 9.
Andy and Ben’s woes seem far from over, though. The boys revealed they were down to their last $44,000, and while that may seem a princely sum it’s roughly the amount they spent on one en suite. Worse yet, Andy discovered the pair still owed $1,500 to the bathroom fixtures store from their surprise toilet, which just keeps on delivering surprises.
This led to the brilliant idea to play Foremen Keith and Dan in a game of table tennis to try to win some much-needed funds. Dan particularly got into the role, showing off tennis shorts so tight he could have been diagnosed at a distance by any passing urologists. The boys’ plan backfired, as the Foremen beat them in straight sets. Andy and Ben ended up losing another $500, and viewers ended up losing a bit of their innocence after seeing Dan’s painted-on shorts.
Foreman Dan and his painted-on shorts. Source: Channel 9.
Meanwhile, contestant Dan and teammate Carleen showed off their boomer savvy by struggling in vain to understand something as newfangled as an intercom system, looking at the hardware like paleolithic primates surveying an alien monolith. They later tried to reclaim some youth by getting a hip new haircut for Dan. He showed off the new ‘do and then mounted a skateboard to try to earn some Gen Y street cred, and in doing so gave us all a sad reminder of our own looming mortality.
Also looming was conflict with Karlie and Will. Dan and Carleen’s plumbing was once again causing hold-ups for the couple’s builders. Karlie went to confront the couple, leading Dan to conclude that Will has sent her to fight his battles for him. Yeah, because women can’t have their own opinions or agency, right Dan?
The tension was finally broken, though, when Scott and Shelley announced the contestants would be whisked away on a cruise to Tasmania to compete in a challenge. As the contestants shared a meal and looked out over the beautiful Bass Strait, old rivalries were set aside and conflicts forgotten. Except for Kim and Chris’ hatred of Julia and Sasha, which shall last roughly until the heat death of the universe.
The block contestants get ready for their cruise. Source: Channel 9.