The Block 2017 room reveal recap: Hallway to Hell
Hallway week finally defeats even the strongest contestants.
I’m feeling a bit of the contestants’ pain this week, as our finder.com.au office is undergoing extensive renovations. While Foremen Keith and Dan have yet to show up and yell at me, I did manage to burn several hours this morning making primitive grunts and hoots at a complicated string of extension cords and multi-boards. All of this to say, I shall present an expurgated version of our Block recap.
While office renovations are proving a hurdle for me, hallway week is positively punishing our contestants, and everyone is struggling to finish. This includes, uncharacteristically, Ronnie and Georgia.
Their slow progress has drawn concern from Keith, who has an inexplicable soft spot for Ronnie. With an hour until noise restrictions the night before the reveal, Ronnie and Georgia have yet to install their skirting boards, architraves or door frames. Keith tells Ronnie that, if he’s quiet, he can use hand tools after the noise restrictions kick in. Isn’t that the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you told Josh and Sticks a week or two ago? Good to know everyone is playing by the same rules.
But even bending the rules won’t help our contestants. Everyone has underestimated the amount of work required to complete their hallway and laundry, and it looks like no-one apart from Sticks and Wombat is on track to finish. And indeed, at tools down, it seems hallway week has defeated most of our Blockheads.
With our contestants feeling pretty demoralised, Neale, Darren and Shaynna arrive to kick them while they’re down.
First up for inspection is Jason and Sarah’s hallway. The judges are immediately wowed by the scale of the hallway, and love the skylights and trusses. Darren proclaims that he’s “in geometric heaven”. Say hi to Pythagoras I suppose. The judges also love the couple’s laundry, which Neale goes so far as to call “sexy”. While there’s unfinished painting throughout, overall the judges seem to agree that Jason and Sarah have made a remarkable comeback.
Jason and Sarah's hallway
Jason and Sarah are thrilled with the feedback. Jason tells us that the perception that the couple are “two old people who’ve fallen off their bikes” has been replaced by the perception that they’re “two old people on their bikes racing to the top of the hill”. Wait, what? Man, Jason’s as bad at metaphors as … some … bad metaphor … guy.
Next are Clint and Hannah, and the couple has been done no favours by following Jason and Sarah. The judges say their hallway looks pretty ordinary by comparison. Neale says it fails to give a sense of the drama that awaits in the rest of the house. To be fair, maybe that’s intentional and Clint and Hannah were going for a Shyamalan-esque twist. On top of this criticism, the couple also failed to finish their paintwork. It’s looking pretty dire for everyone at this point.
Hannah and Clint's hallway
The judges head to Ronnie and Georgia’s, and immediately notice that the reno veterans also failed to finish. Shaynna is sceptical of the Victorian arch in the couple’s hallway, saying the purists would be put off by combining this with the art deco style throughout the front of the house. But Neale and Darren don’t give the common buyer quite so much credit, and believe most people’s reaction will be something along the lines of “Duhhhh … purty!”
Ronnie and Georgia's hallway
The judges also notice that Ronnie and Georgia’s laundry has no room for an ironing board, and that their door opens directly into their drying rack. Georgia tells us that this is due to time limitations, and angrily reminds everyone that she wouldn’t face such a tight timeline doing a renovation in the real world. Uh, yeah, THAT’S THE SHOW.
Sticks and Wombat’s newly softened house is up for inspection next, and the judges are immediately impressed with the softer side shown by the boys. Neale exclaims that the hall has tapped into the elusive hygge no-one will shut up about. The only bit of criticism is that the guys’ laundry doesn’t have a door. Shaynna fears buyers will be put off by being able to see the washer and dryer. Because when you’re rich enough to buy a house like this, you want your friends to think you wear clothes once and discard them, not that you wash them LIKE A PEASANT.
Sticks and Wombat's hallway
Finally, the judges head to Josh and Elyse’s, where they’re thrown into a frothing state of ecstasy by the cathedral ceilings. They also love the steel door separating the period section of the home from the modern extension. But, the couple cop some criticism for their lack of an extra toilet. I mean, the house already has like three toilets. How much do rich people go to the bathroom?
Josh and Elyse's hallway
Finally, the scores are tallied. Sticks and Wombat choose to play the bonus point they received from winning this week’s challenge, but it turns out they wouldn’t have needed it. Finishing goes a long way.
|Jason and Sarah||9||8.5||9||26.5|
|Hannah and Clint||7||7||8||22|
|Ronnie and Georgia||8||8||8.5||24.5|
|Sticks and Wombat||8.5||9||10 (+1)||28.5|
|Josh and Elyse||9||8.5||9.5||27|
So Sticks and Wombat walk away with their first win. Now it’s just up to Jason to find some compliance problem.
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.