The Block 2017 recap: The world’s greatest carpenter?

Adam Smith 13 September 2017

The Block Ep 27Jason and Sarah have to bring in a ringer to whip their build into shape.

It’s day three of kitchen week, and poor Jason and Sarah are running themselves ragged to finish both their master suite and kitchen. They’re moving at a pace almost equivalent to normal speed for the other contestants.

There’s already bad news from Foremen Keith and Dan, who break the news to the couple that they’re not ready to tile their ensuite as the waterproofing isn’t up to scratch. The two foremen tell us that Jason and Sarah’s builder is as much to blame for the couple’s troubles as they are. It’s good Keith and Dan could take the time out of their busy schedule to ruin the reputation of a local tradesperson on national television.

But the fact remains that Jason and Sarah are already falling behind. Keith and Dan think they have a solution. They tell Jason that they’ll call in the services of the WORLD'S GREATEST CARPENTER!

J-Jesus?

Oh, it’s some dude named Ryan. Bit of an anticlimax.

Kitchen week is causing problems for everyone it seems. Hannah and Clint have discovered that in the excitement of planning their kitchen they’ve ordered cabinetry that only leaves room for about a third of a refrigerator. They’ll either have to have a sad, tiny refrigerator or find some other creative solution.

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Josh and Elyse have some kitchen concerns as well. They’ve just discovered a weird little niche to the side of the kitchen and have to decide what to do with it. I’m no interior designer, but it seems like the perfect place for a hulking murderer to hide.

There’s no hiding from Jason and Sarah’s problems, though. The couple’s tradies just aren’t working fast enough to get them over the line by the end of the week. Jason needs to find some spare plasterers, so he scouts around with the other contestants. Surprisingly, it’s Ronnie who comes through and says that Jason can use his plasterers. Wow, that was damn decent of you Ronnie.

Ronnie reveals to us that it’s in his best interests to help Jason and Sarah, lest they get kicked off the show and are replaced by more talented competitors.

You should stop talking while you’re ahead, Ronnie.

As everyone races to finish their kitchens, the word comes that it’s challenge time. The teams all race off the beautiful Red Hill wine country. All except Jason and Sarah, that is.

The producers then take perverse satisfaction in juxtaposing the scenes of luxury the other contestants are enjoying at a five-star retreat with scenes Jason and Sarah sitting in the cold darkness of their unfinished house, eating two-minute noodles out of an old shoe.

Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 4.36.30 pm "I found this barely used fork in the skip bin!"

That last bit might have been a slight exaggeration.

At the Red Hill retreat, the couples sit down to dinner with Scott Cam and Shelley Craft who tell them about tomorrow’s challenge. They’ll have to transform a nearby property into a five-star resort. Scott tells the contestants that they’ll work form teams of four and encourages them to pick their workmates. Both Ronnie and Clint immediately try to pick Josh and Elyse, leaving Sticks and Wombat awkwardly twiddling their thumbs.

Scott and Shelley have a bit of a laugh and tell the contestants that their teams have actually been chosen for them. So that bit of misdirection was actually just to make Sticks and Wombat feel bad about themselves I guess. Hilarious, Scott Cam!

Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 4.42.45 pm "That was funny, taking away my dignity like that."

Ronnie and Georgia will team with Hannah and Clint, while Sticks and Wombat will pair with their BFFs Josh and Elyse. We don’t know which team will win, but it’s pretty obvious which will have more fun.

Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.

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