The Block 2017 recap: The contestants get snowed
It’s an avalanche of pain on the season’s final challenge night.
Our contestants are deep into completing their final guest rooms and planning their landscaping, but The Block isn’t going to let this series wind to a conclusion without giving us one more abstruse challenge to leave us scratching our heads. And they’ve saved the biggest and most perplexing for last, it appears.
It all starts when host Scott Cam arrives to tell our teams that they’ll be heading off to Mount Buller for a ski weekend and challenge. OK, so what do we think the challenge could be? We know it will have only the barest, most circumstantial relationship to renovation. We also know that the contestants are heading to the snow. Let’s brainstorm:
- The contestants will take part in an epic snowball fight, and the last person to cry and threaten to tell their mum will win a McCafe voucher.
- The contestants will choose a power tool they believe most likely to cause an avalanche, and will be judged on tonnage of snow dislodged and skier casualties.
- The contestants will have to hunt down a pack of endangered grey wolves and use their hides to make window treatments.
- The contestants will have to trap a Yeti and teach it to paint a yurt.
Nope. None of the above. It looks like we’re going to focus on renovation after all! The teams are charged with transforming rooms in a ski lodge into luxury Alpine master bedrooms. On offer is $10,000 for the first place team, $6,000 for second place and $4,000 for third place.
How about that? They resisted the urge to force our Blockheads to compete in off-the-wall tomfoolery.
"Hahahahaha! Not so fast, losers!"
Oh, wait. It turns out the teams will have to compete for “Snow Dough”, Block currency that they can spend for furnishings in a pop-up shop. And how will they compete? Well, first they’ll have a toboggan race.
This horseplay ends, predictably, in several injuries. Wombat slides down an icy slope on his face, while Hannah manages to run over Josh’s thumb and send him to hospital. It turns out he’s fractured his hand and will have to spend 4-6 weeks wearing a splint. Of course it was all just an unfortunate accident.
Or was it?
Superintendent Chalmers twice in two days. Winning.
In spite of the pain and heartache, Sticks and Wombat are first across the finish line, followed by Josh and Elyse and Hannah and Clint. That means they’ll have the most … ahem … Snow Dough … to spend in the pop-up shop.
The teams head to the shop, and given the amount of furnishings a measly couple hundred dollars’ worth of Snow Dough buys, I’m left to wonder if I should be investing in the currency. Should I be shorting the Aussie Dollar versus the Snow Dough? How many Snow Dough to the Bitcoin?
No matter. It’s on to the next challenge. This time, the contestants will have to build snowmen which will be judged by kids from the Mount Buller ski school. I’m serious.
Clint and Hannah decide to build Olaf from Disney’s recent toddler narcotic, Frozen. Expect a cease and desist letter any minute now, guys.
Sticks and Wombat decide bigger is better, and build a gargantuan snowman. Josh and Elyse, for some reason, build a voluptuous snow woman. That should play well with any weird snow fetishists judging the competition.
In the end, Jason and Sarah’s upside down snowman takes first prize and we all lose several minutes of our lives that we’ll be left to rue on our deathbeds.
Fun in the snow is over, though, and it’s time to get to work. Our contestants all dive into their room challenges. The rooms will be judged by two-time Block contestant Dea Jolly.
Jason and Sarah's room
Hannah and Clint's room
Ronnie and Georgia's room
Sticks and Wombat's room
Josh and Elyse's room
Dea is a much nicer and more forgiving judge than our teams are used to. The most withering criticism she offers any of the rooms is that Sticks and Wombat have painted their room the colour of baby poo. It’s a fair assessment, and one the boys have already made themselves.
The judging done, Dea tells us our winners. Third place goes to Josh and Elyse, second goes to Hannah and Clint and Ronnie and Georgia take the top spot. It seems a bit of a hollow victory, though. I mean, sure, they can style a room, BUT CAN THEY RIDE A TOBOGGAN?
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.