The Block 2017 recap: Instant karma’s gonna get you
As landscaping week kicks off, our Blockheads' behaviour leads us to question whether there are any decent people left in the world.
It’s the first night of landscaping week on The Block, but the only thing growing at the moment is our contestants’ avarice.
As you may remember, Ronnie and Georgia struck a deal with their neighbours so they can crane in their pool. At the moment, this deal is costing them about $15,000. By the end of the week, $15,000 will seem like a good deal.
First, though, it’s time for inspections. At this point in the competition, the contestants are ready to give up any pretence of objectivity and just judge the week’s rooms based on how much they hate the people who produced them.
First up are Hannah and Clint, and Ronnie and Georgia don’t like the room. What a surprise. To be fair, though, no-one seems to care for Hannah and Clint’s behemoth of a wardrobe that looms over the room like an alien monolith.
Hannah and Clint's room
Next up are Sticks and Wombat, and you can judge the boys popularity with their fellow contestants by the lack of nit-picking. Everyone is impressed that Wombat seems to have tapped into his feminine side.
Jason and Sarah’s room is next to face inspection, and while all the contestants who don’t hate the couple with the burning intensity of a thousand suns are impressed with the colour scheme and wallpaper, Ronnie snipes at the pair for spending too much money.
Joint-winners Josh and Elyse are next, and it’s easy to see that the focus of Ronnie and Georgia’s ire has shifted off the young couple, because they’re impressed by the room. All the contestants are impressed by the size of the room, but this might be giving undue credit. Josh and Elyse are talented renovators, but they don’t control the way spatial dimensions work.
Finally it’s time to inspect Ronnie and Georgia’s room, which serves as a convenient proxy for all the contestants’ feelings about the Perth duo. Josh is unimpressed with the finishes, and both he and Jason say the room looks fit for a nanna. Jason goes so far as to call the wardrobe “pathetic”. Easy, big fella. Let’s not take it out on the wardrobe.
With this done, the contestants can get back to abusing Ronnie and Georgia firsthand.
Not everyone wants in on this action, however. Hannah, for one, is feeling guilty for accusing Ronnie and Georgia of lying when all they actually did was intentionally peddle mistruths. She takes Georgia a cookie as a form of apology, As Georgia rightly points out, the cookie’s value is considerably less than the $7,500 Hannah and Clint are soaking her for, so its value as a peace offering is negligible.
Yeah, that ought to cover it.
Meanwhile, the couple’s crane problems are compounding. They already have to pay $1,000 an hour for every hour the crane works past noon, and considering noon has come and gone with no crane it’s not looking good.
Worse yet, they find out they have to park the crane in Jason’s front yard. Jason being the stand-up guy he is, wants another $2,500. Faced with this, Ronnie does the mature thing and runs crying to Foremen Keith and Dan. But it looks like Ronnie will have to fight his own battles, which means stamping his feet and still paying the money.
The whole process makes Georgia question what she and Ronnie could have possibly done to so alienate their fellow contestants. It is a bit of a mystery, but I think it might have something to do with LITERALLY EVERY BIT OF YOUR BEHAVIOUR THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SERIES. If you need a refresher, you’re welcome to read any of my previous recaps.
Finally, in what can only be seen as objective scientific proof of the existence of karma, Ronnie and Georgia’s crane arrives but their pool is delayed until the next day. They’re going to owe Jason and Sarah and Hannah and Clint even more money.
With all this drama, it’s easy to overlook the brilliant strategy Jason has stumbled upon: Overspend to the point of bankruptcy early in the competition and then replenish your budget by the sleaziest means possible.
Stay classy, Jason. Stay classy.
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.