The Block 2017 recap: Ch-ch-ch-changes … or not
The more things change on The Block, the more they stay the same.
The main thing that has changed is that the level of work required to complete this week is easily the most of any week of any series as the show, like an addict, tries to ramp up its intensity to stave off diminishing returns. It very well may drive our contestants to their deaths.
Ronnie certainly looks close. He’s up before the sun, painting the walls of he and Georgia’s studio a pure white that still doesn’t look as pale and sickly as he does. Still, he’s soldiering on. One thing that doesn’t change on The Block is Ronnie’s intense work ethic.
Ronnie takes a break to edge closer to death
Another thing that doesn’t change is Jason’s lack thereof. Foremen Keith and Dan have come by to inspect the waterproofing for he and Sarah’s ensuite, only to find it’s about as waterproof as a sieve. He and Sarah have fallen woefully behind once again, but they still manage to impress Domain’s Alice Stolz, who has come by with hosts Scott Cam and Shelley Craft for the final inspection of the season.
Jason and Sarah have employed the shrewd strategy of setting a bar so low that any time they manage to scrape over it, everyone treats them like they just won an Olympic high jumping medal. It’s true that if you aim for the stars you’ll at least hit the moon, but if you aim for nothing and do one thing you still look pretty accomplished.
The strategy works, and Alice is impressed by the couple’s progress. She says they’re much further along than at the same point in master bedroom week, but that’s not saying much since at this point in master bedroom week they had yet to get out of bed.
Alice, Shelley and Scott then make their way to Clint and Hannah’s. During the course of the inspection, Clint mentions that he and Jason have struck a deal to help each other paint this week. Sounds like a great plan, Clint. Almost as good as striking a deal with a Nigerian prince to help him move his billions of dollars overseas in exchange for a small holding fee. Scott wisely tells Clint he shouldn’t count on Jason, which sounds like a great slogan for Jason’s plumbing business.
From there it’s on to Sticks and Wombat’s. Scott, Shelley and Alice love the boys’ v-jointed timber ceiling and giant skylights. Sticks and Wombat are building a bachelor pad for spoiled millennials still sponging off their parents, and Wombat says it’s his favourite room so far. He tells the judges he could see himself living in it. Personally, I think including Wombat as part of the furnishings would increase the house’s value by several million dollars. If I were a buyer, I’d straight-up demand it.
Next up are Ronnie and Georgia, and it’s a regular love-fest for our Perth duo. Alice basically tells Georgia she was wrong to ever doubt any of the couple’s design choices, while Scott says they’re the best contestants on any series of The Block. It’s good feedback because Ronnie in particular could really use an ego boost.
Finally, the trio move on to Josh and Elyse’s. Alice is full of praise for the couple’s work so far, and Scott showers Josh with compliments for his skill as a carpenter. Josh is overjoyed by the feedback, given that Scott Cam is like the Jesus of carpentry.
Wait, I think I did that analogy wrong.
Anyway, in the end Ronnie and Georgia take out the week’s prize, but Josh and Elyse manage to win the Domain prize for the season. Their house will be featured on the front cover of Domain Magazine, which is exciting considering how relevant print media is these days.
"Yay! Maybe they'll include a daguerreotype of us!"
Finally, we hear Scott Cam’s admonitions echoing in our ears as Clint prepares to hold up his end of his painting bargain with Jason, only to find that Jason has misplaced the spray gun. Moreover, Foreman Dan tells Jason that he can’t sign off on the big fella’s waterproofing tonight, thus scuttling their plans to tile. The waterproofing won’t be dry until about 10pm, and losing the chance to spend the night tiling will put the couple even further behind than they already are.
But good fortune intervenes. Clint and Jason manage to track down another spray gun. Then Dan surprises Jason by volunteering to come back at 10 and sign off on the waterproofing. Jason is overwhelmed with gratitude. In the past, he’s demonstrated this gratitude by extorting $13,500 from the person who gave him a helping hand. Watch out Dan.
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.