The Block 2017 recap: Broke teams and broken houses
One team might run out of money before auction, while the other might run out of time.
We’re drawing very near the finish line on this season of The Block, but before we do there’s one last obstacle for our contestants in the form of their studio and garage. It’s the biggest space they’ve tackled so far, and Josh tells us he doesn’t think there’s any way any of the teams will finish. Why not use the Jason and Sarah strategy and just not try?
Before the teams can begin giving up in earnest, though, it’s time for open for inspections. First up are Josh and Elyse, and no-one seems to fault the judges for giving the couple the win. Jason and Sarah and Hannah and Clint are even surprised that the couple didn’t get a perfect score. Sticks and Wombat also survey the yard as though they they’re seeing it for the first time and didn’t just peer over the fence throughout its construction. And that’s the magic of television.
Speaking of Sticks and Wombat, their second-place yard is next, and everyone makes fun of the bizarre feature wall that just kind of haphazardly sticks out of the ground. While most of the contestants love Sticks and Wombat’s container pool, Ronnie and Georgia dub it cheap and tacky. In that case, their second lounge would be the perfect spot for it.
Next up are Jason and Sarah. The teams all agree that the couple have used the space well, and even arch-nemeses Ronnie and Georgia give credit where it’s due. It is a beautiful yard. Too bad it’s tainted with the stink of evil.
Ronnie and Georgia’s yard is next, and all their pool dramas seem to have been worth it in the eyes of their fellow contestants. Everyone is suitably impressed by the pool that caused such drama. The couple’s Berlin Wall gets a less enthusiastic reception, but Ronnie and Georgia have already told us they plan on tearing it down. If only George Michael were still here to sing atop it.
Finally it’s last place couple Hannah and Clint’s turn. No-one seems to see what caused the judges such offence. The other contestants even like the spa that was the source of such withering criticism.
Now it’s time for our contestants to begin their sprint toward the finish, which for Jason and Sarah looks set to be another slow crawl. It may come as a shock, but the pair accomplish exactly nothing on the first day of construction. Well, that’s not entirely true. Jason picks up a single piece of lumber, immediately gets a splinter and decides he should take the rest of the day off.
While Jason and Sarah are sidelined by inertia, Sticks and Wombat are facing a different challenge. The extra $25,000 Scott Cam handed the teams has just gotten Sticks and Wombat out of debt, leaving them a grand total of $0 to finish this week’s build. It’s a shame, because they do have a vision for the room. They want to create a self-contained apartment for older teens and twenty-somethings still living at home. In other words, a spoiled bastard pad.
Fortunately, money on The Block never actually runs dry. There’s always a never-ending source of funds in the form of the regularly scheduled Scott Cam deus ex machina. He suggests to the boys that they try to trade some of their retailer vouchers with other contestants for trades. The boys call a body corporate meeting to discuss the idea, and after much wheeling and dealing everyone comes out ahead. Except Ronnie and Georgia, of course, who are treated as a rogue state in this particular United Nations meeting. The other contestants have broken off diplomatic relations.
After the body corporate meeting, Hannah tells us that she’s happy all the animosity amongst the contestants is dissolving. Someone might want to tell Ronnie and Georgia that.
Also dissolving, apparently, is Jason and Sarah’s house. Foremen Keith and Dan have done a walkthrough to identify defects, and Jason and Sarah’s is more defect than house. Nothing is painted properly, door frames are missing, tiling is unfinished and, in what must be just the best advertisement for Jason’s plumbing business, the plumbing is all shonky.
Keith and Dan break the completely unsurprising news
It’s going to take a lot of work to get the house ready in time for auction. It means knuckling down, working hard and using every bit of remaining time wisely.
In other words, Jason and Sarah are screwed.
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.