The Block 2017 recap: Block civil war

Adam Smith 13 September 2017 NEWS

The Block Ep 28It’s challenge night on The Block, and this one sees teams combine to take each other down.

Josh and Elyse are teamed with Sticks and Wombat, while Hannah and Clint pair up with Ronnie and Georgia. They’re tasked with transforming rooms in a Red Hill holiday home into something worthy of a five-star resort. On the line is a $10,000 prize and a holiday voucher for the contestants and their families.

To cut through the confusion, host Scott Cam tells us the teams will be dubbed Team North and Team South, because tonight is Block Civil War! And because nothing makes for family-friendly television like cavalierly referencing a conflict in which more than 600,000 people were killed!

Oblivious to this niggling bit of history, the teams press on. They’ll have just eight hours in which to transform and style their rooms. Team North, Josh and Elyse and Sticks and Wombat, will take on a family room and kids bedroom. Team South (coincidentally THE BAD GUYS IN THE ACTUAL CIVIL WAR), Hannah and Clint and Ronnie and Georgia, will take on a lounge and master bedroom.

Because it just wouldn’t be challenge night without an element completely unrelated to renovation, the teams also have to take photos and write a marketing blurb for the property. So long as the word “superfluous” isn’t involved, everyone should be fine.

The teams split in two to tackle the project. Hannah, Georgia, Elyse and Wombat hop on a chopper to do some shopping in Melbourne while Sticks, Josh, Clint and Ronnie stay behind to handle painting.

Notably absent from the proceedings are Jason and Sarah. The couple have decided to sit out the challenge so they can complete their master suite and kitchen lest they face expulsion from The Block. They actually seem to be well on track. At the outset of the episode, Sarah tells us the two are feeling “pepped up”, and they certainly do have a spring in their step. They’ve reached a level of energy somewhere between light nap and vacant stare. It’s a new high for them.

Back at the challenge, everyone is starting to get nervous as the clock winds down. With all the painting complete all that’s left is to style the rooms. Unfortunately, our shopping contingent are stuck in Melbourne traffic and are cutting it fine to get back in time. What happened to that chopper? It’s probably being used to do something selfish like saving stranded hikers or searching for prison escapees.

Chopper or no, the teams get back with moments to spare and everyone manages to get their rooms together.

Screen Shot 2017-09-13 at 1.44.57 pmScreen Shot 2017-09-13 at 1.47.15 pm

Team North's bedroom and family room

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Team South's bedroom and lounge

Their work is judged by Shaynna Blaze and Stayz general manager Anton Stanish. This gives us the privilege of witnessing the first face-to-face meeting between Shaynna and contestants she’s absolutely pilloried. These are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

In the end, Team South emerges victorious, much like in that ill-conceived upcoming HBO show.

Back at the Block, it’s time for Scott, Shelley and Alice Stolz to check on all the teams and their progress. Alice will award a $5,000 prize to the team showing the most promise.

A few contestants are adding some pretty impressive features to their kitchens. In particular, Sticks and Wombat are using the awkward niche beside the kitchen to put in a bookcase that swings open to reveal a hidden nook, hopefully leading to a dungeon.

6e0f877293473b205484061ea9abc167"Put ... the candle ... BACK!"

Josh and Elyse wow Alice as well. The two have put in an absolutely massive butler’s pantry. It seems like a good idea, but I’ve dealt with enough butlers to know that if you give them too big a space they become shiftless and impudent.

In the end, Josh and Elyse take out this week’s Domain prize. It’s a victory for the North. Just like real life.

Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.

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