The Block 2017 recap: And now we play the waiting game
As the contestants give birth to their rooms, one goes the extra mile by actually having a child.
It’s a waiting game tonight on The Block. The contestants are waiting to hear the results from last night’s art challenge. Sticks is waiting for the impending birth of his second child. We’re waiting to see if Jason and Sarah will attempt to do any work.
On that note, the budget-challenged pair have decided not to try to finish this week’s master bedroom and ensuite. Foremen Keith and Dan are perplexed that Jason and Sarah would give up so quickly. The foremen have tried every strategy in the book to motivate the pair: they’ve tried yelling at them, berating them, lecturing them and dressing them down. Nothing seems to work.
It’s pretty clear that the two aren’t going to come close to finishing this week’s room. I suppose this nicely solves the mystery of which team gets triple zeroes from the judges, unless Darren, Neale and Shaynna are big fans of industrial shabby chic.
One person who does intend to finish what he started is Sticks. He’s got baby number two on the way any minute, and when he gets the call from his wife that she’s headed to hospital he makes haste to get back home. Of course, he and Wombat find time for a quick Macca’s stop because The Block loves its sponsors like most people love their children.
Sticks gets whisked away from the Block in style on a helicopter chartered by Scott Cam. There’s time for a brief fly-over of the work site where Sticks’ fellow contestants cheer him on. It’s a lot like the finale of MASH, but without the preachiness.
Goodbye, farewell and amen.
There’s little time to dwell in the miracle of childbirth because it’s time to hear who won yesterday’s art competition. While Sticks’ wife is in literal labour, Elyse is still hurt that Josh dumped all over her labour of love in the competition. She spent all day painting a beautiful triptych that Josh dismissed in favour of some idiotic splatter of primary colours he crapped out in 10 minutes of horseplay.
You guys, it ends up winning.
This made me think entirely differently about famous abstract expressionists. Maybe Jackson Pollock wasn’t a tortured genius. Maybe he was a goofy surfer bro who held a VB in one hand while he contemptuously splattered paint with the other while snorting about how dumb art was. I think I need to lie down.
While I’m busy rethinking everything I thought I knew about the creative process, Alice, Shelley and Scott arrive to judge the contestants’ progress. Josh is still riding high on a tidal wave of smugness, but this gets deflated when Alice, Scott and Shelley are utterly dumbstruck by he and Elyse’s decision to build a master suite without a door. It’s obvious these youngsters don’t have kids. They’re the reason doors were invented. Any parent looking at this house will immediately think of every embarrassing situation their kids will 100% wander in on.
Next up is Wombat, flying solo in Sticks’ absence. Scott, Shelley and Alice are a bit put off by the configuration of the master bedroom. Shelley particularly finds it unappealing that the bed faces the bathroom, and says this isn’t a sight most people want to see first thing in the morning. I’m just speaking for myself here, but that’s actually the very first thing I generally want to see in the morning.
Our hosts and Alice Stolz seem generally nonplussed by everyone’s progress this week. They’re unconvinced about Ronnie and Georgia’s decision to add a hallway to their master bedroom. Of course, Ronnie takes the opportunity to remind them that the couple has won four of six room reveals. And when has hubris ever caused someone to come undone?
Hannah and Clint’s room is next, and Clint again demonstrates the couple’s manipulative mastery by showering Alice with flattery. Certainly she’ll see right through that.
Nope. Hannah and Clint take this week’s prize.
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.