The Block 2017 recap: A descent into chaos
Abandon all hope, ye who enter tonight's episode.
As we kick off another day on The Block, Ronnie and Georgia’s long-awaited pool has finally arrived. After all that waiting, get ready to be impressed by … A giant coffee mug? OK. While there’s no accounting for taste, there’s been plenty of accounting going on with Ronnie and Georgia’s neighbours. The couple owe a huge chunk of change to Jason and Sarah and Hannah and Clint. Jason tells us that he’s never met more selfish people than Ronnie and Georgia. Wait, aren’t you the guy who extorted them for every cent he could?
The crane finally lifts the pool over the houses and into the backyard. There’s a tense moment when it looks like it might smash into Jason’s house and demolish it, but it narrowly misses and we’re left to lament what might have been.
On the other end of the Block, Sticks and Wombat have crane issues as well. They have to drive a crane through Josh and Elyse’s yard to get their container pool in place. Josh and Elyse aren’t charging the boys, which is what happens when you’re nice to people.
Unfortunately, Josh and Elyse’s landscaper has taken a page from the Jason playbook and is being a hardass. He tells the guys they actually can’t drive their crane through because construction is about to begin on a brick wall that will block their path. Sticks says he would rather not put in a pool than hold up Josh and Elyse’s work. Again, this is what it looks like when people are decent to each other.
Meanwhile, Sarah has taken she and Jason’s ill-gotten gains and gone shopping. After coming close to being kicked off the Block and facing constant bankruptcy from her overspending, she’s going to be much more careful with these much-needed funds. She’s probably going to save it to - ah, dammit, she’s blowing it on an idiotic outdoor heater. She and Jason will just have to find more people to extort.
"Can I use it to set money on fire?"
Back at the Block, crane issues have continued for Sticks and Wombat. They’ve told their landscaper to go ahead and pour the slab for their pool after working out a deal with Ronnie’s crane driver to lift their pool over their house. Then Foreman Keith shows up to tell them that you actually need permits for such tomfoolery.
Wombat has his own plans. He figures 50 men could carry the 2,000 kilogram pool with each only burdened by 40 kilos of weight. The boys aren't allowed to try this idea, because common sense is a thing that exists. The boys now have a concrete slab for a pool, but no pool. Personally, I don’t see it as a liability. I think most buyers would appreciate having a random, extremely level part of their backyard. Fortunately, Scott Cam comes to save the day. He says he’s gotten approval to remove some scaffolding blocking the shared driveway between the boys’ and Josh and Elyse’s houses, and he’s enlisted the help of a crane driver friend who thinks he can fit the pool through with only a 95% chance of destroying one of the houses in the process. It’s a risk Sticks and Wombat are willing to take.
Back on the other end of the Block which is quickly descending into some sort of Randian dystopia, Jason is trying to figure out new ways to screw over Ronnie and Georgia. He sees the couple installing an outdoor shower and calls Foreman Dan to whine that it’s not up to code. Dan does some digging and finds out the shower is fine, but still not powerful enough to wash the evil off Jason. Seriously, dude, didn’t you say something a few weeks back about the importance of maintaining your integrity?
The concept seems entirely lost on Jason and Sarah. Sarah is organising a spa day for the ladies on the Block, and decides to go ask Georgia to participate. She’s surprised and incredulous when Georgia somehow doesn’t want to spend the day in close quarters with people who have actively ostracised, demonised and, I’m just gonna say it, bullied her.
Thankfully, at least the north end of the Block is still full of friendship and good humour. Nothing could ever come between Sticks and Wombat and Josh and Elyse. Then Scott Cam starts teasing some terrible blowup between the BFFs. So, you’ve made us watch Hannah and Clint slowly turn into villains. You’ve made us feel sympathy for Ronnie and Georgia. You’ve made us watch as Jason and Sarah throw aside any shred of decency in the name of money. And now you want to ruin the ONE DECENT THING we still have on this show? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!
Geez, did George R.R. Martin consult on this series? Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.