The Block 2017 recap (14.08.2017): Rough roofs and foremen fury
Josh and Elyse are in for a roof week as they fall afoul of Keith and Dan.
A new week dawns on The Block, and we learn that this week the contestants will be doing a kids' room. Hear that, prospective Block property buyers? No childless people need apply!
Before we get on with business, it’s time for the contestants to pass judgement on each other’s work from last week. It was a tight competition, but Ronnie and Georgia came out ahead in guest room week in spite of the fact that they didn’t add an ensuite, and now guests at their house will have to endure the torturous misadventure of going down the hall to pee.
The winners are the first to face their fellow contestants’ scrutiny, and their work gets high marks all around. Hannah goes so far as to say she wants to copy the couple’s style. So long as she doesn’t look to them for relationship advice.
Josh and Elyse’s guest room is next, and Wombat has the same lustful reaction toward their bedhead that judge Darren Palmer did. He’s also impressed by the room’s dimmer switch, as it allows both him and the bedhead to set the mood.
Wombat and the bedhead throw on some Barry White
The contestants move on to Clint and Hannah’s room, and everyone is impressed. The lone bit of criticism is for the dark carpet, which Josh says shows too much dirt. Maybe I’m being a little defensive, but leave our lovable Queenslanders alone, Josh.
Jason and Sarah’s spooky funhouse is next, and Elyse says the room looks insane. She seems to have meant that as a compliment, but it’s the most honest description I’ve heard of this room yet. Don’t get me wrong, I love the way it turned out. But there is verging on a 100% chance that an eccentric, reclusive millionaire will one day write this room into his will and stipulate that his heirs must spend one night in it to inherit his fortune.
The teams finally move on to Sticks and Wombat’s room, and everyone is amazed by the duo’s cavernous ensuite. They’re even more impressed when they find a jar of Nutella in the walk-in robe.
No attempt is made to explain this
With that done, it’s down to the task at hand. The teams will be tackling a kids' room. All of them have kids except Josh and Elyse, and the producers let us in on the stunning insight that people miss their kids when they’re away from them for an extended period of time.
Once the tears are dried, everyone springs into action. Everyone, that is, except Jason and Sarah, who once again can’t decide how to start. After spending half a day drumming their fingers and scratching their heads, Jason hits on the idea that their room should have a floor, walls and a doorframe. Whoa! Way to push the envelope there, Frank Llloyd Wright!
The other teams have some slightly more down-to-earth ideas. Hannah and Clint want to add built-in bunk beds and a blackboard wall. Sticks and Wombat want to go full-on kid fantasy by putting in a rock-climbing wall leading up to a mezzanine level.
Pictured: Sticks and Wombat's room
Josh and Elyse also want to put in a mezzanine level, though theirs can presumably also be accessed by kids who aren’t THE AWESOMEST. Unfortunately, they decide to get going on their mezzanine by taking out literally every stick of timber in their house that was holding up the roof.
Foremen Keith and Dan are understandably concerned by the fact that Josh and Elyse’s roof is now held up by nothing more than its inability to comprehend gravity. They have the entire site shut down, and as punishment they force Josh and his builder Matt to redo the site safety induction.
Redoing site induction
All of this leads to a lot of bellyaching, back-talking and general sourness from Josh, who seems determined to cement his status as this year’s least likeable contestant.
When an engineer shows up to inspect the house the next day, it turns out Keith and Dan weren’t just being fussy. The whole structure is so unstable, he seems legitimately surprised to be standing in a house instead of an impact crater filled with smouldering roof shards. He tells Josh and Elyse that they’ll have to hold their roof up with something stronger than a contempt for physics.
Things go from bad to worse for Josh and Elyse as it turns out the floor in their house is 18mm lower than the floor in the new addition being built at the back. Josh and his builder failed to take measurements before building the floor, but this is somehow Keith and Dan’s fault.
Finally, there’s a moment of tenderness as the contestants are surprised by the arrival of their kids. After weeks of hard work and homesickness, they get to hold their children close.
SHUT UP! I’M NOT CRYING! YOU’RE CRYING!
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.