The Block 2017 recap (09.08.2016): It’s all fun and games until someone loses a foot
Guest room week is limping toward a conclusion tonight on The Block, and from the promos it appears Georgia will be joining it.
We’re told at the outset of the episode to expect a horrible accident that will incapacitate her and possibly even force she and Ronnie out of the competition! My goodness, the drama!
First, though, all our teams who have recklessly decided to add ensuites are scrambling to finish. Jason has done his waterproofing, and asks Foremen Keith and Dan to come inspect. It’s a fail for the big fella, as his bathroom is currently slightly less waterproof than a colander. It’s at this point that we take a moment to remember that JASON IS A PLUMBER.
Things are going awry for Sticks and Wombat as well. After pulling up their far too pliable floor, one of the boys’ carpenters saws through a water main. Water gushes under the house, and Keith and Dan come by to offer their help by again making concerned noises and acting generally smug.
Dan warns the boys that all this water could end up ruining their waterproofing. If this is true - and it’s embarrassing to admit this as a professional writer - then the word “waterproof” means something different than I thought it did.
Looks like those dummies over at Merriam-Webster have it wrong too
It certainly doesn’t mean what Jason thought it did. He’s ready to take a second shot at getting his waterproofing approved. Unfortunately, he and his builder have decided to use a door trim with holes drilled in it. The Titanic is more waterproof at this very moment than Jason’s bathroom ever will be.
Keith and Dan are obviously annoyed, so they take out their frustrations by helping Clint and Hannah demolish their unfortunate bathroom. The couple have to start from scratch, and though it pains them to see their hard work destroyed, that means tearing out all the walls and tiles. Keith and Dan take an almost erotic pleasure in helping.
While Jason may be struggling this week, we get to see Sarah fulfilling her dreams. She’s picking up the art deco bug wallpaper she was so proud of, and it looks every bit as nightmare-inducing as she’d hoped. To compliment it, she picks black paint. So, a black guest room with one wall covered in bugs? I sincerely hope the guest they’re planning on hosting is H.P. Lovecraft.
"ph'nglui mglw'nafh Scott Cam R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
It’s not all work on tonight’s episode, though. There’s also a bit of tomfoolery afoot! Sticks and Wombat decide to play a harmless, lighthearted prank on Ronnie by sneaking in under cover of dark and screwing his work boots to the floor. What a laugh!
We’re told that Ronnie got up in the middle of the night to pry his boots off the floor, and Georgia managed to severely slice her foot on one of the screws. Ronnie has to cart her in a wheelbarrow to fill out an incident report after an entire night spent getting stitched up and bandaged. The prognosis? Out two to four weeks, which Ronnie and Georgia fear could put them out of the competition for good.
This is serious. Keith and Dan call all the Blockheads together to share the tale of woe. Sticks and Wombat fess up, and look absolutely devastated to have caused such injury to their fellow contestants.
Ronnie and Georgia admit de-feet
This is the drama the episode was leading up to. This is a game changer. This is tragedy of the highest degree. This is …
An elaborate prank.
Turns out Georgia wasn’t hurt at all, and she and Ronnie were just putting one over on the boys. And all those promos at the top of the episode were putting one over on us too! What a laugh!
Once everyone has recovered from all that merrymaking, it’s time for Scott Cam, Shelley Craft and Domain managing editor Alice Stolz to pay the contestants a visit and gauge their progress. Alice will be handing out her weekly $5,000 prize to the team whose room she deems to have the most potential. She, Scott and Shelley will also be completely undermining all the contestants’ confidence and self-worth, as is their weekly custom.
After a nice round of telling all the teams that their rooms are going to be garbage, they’re spending too much money and they’re fundamentally bad people, the $5,000 award goes to Sticks and Wombat, who were apparently the least objectionable.
The episode ends on a sour note, though. It turns out Sarah’s terrifying wallpaper won’t arrive in time for room reveal. She’s just going to have to find another design element to inspire existential horror.
A suggestion ...
Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.