The Block 2017 recap (01.08.17): The secret weapon

Adam Smith 1 August 2017 NEWS

The Block Ep 3Tiny tubs, talkative tiles and tortoiselike teams see bathroom week in full swing.

Bathroom week continues on The Block, and all the couples are plugging along. All, that is, except perennial slowpokes Sarah and Jason. Our torpid team has no tiler and their plumber has quit on them. This would be a good time for them to remember that Jason is a plumber, but that fact seems to escape them.

Meanwhile, Ronnie has decided that the grand total of one win he and Georgia have chalked up so far has made them a target for the other teams. In his mind, their renovation experience has filled the other teams with a monomaniacal obsession to sabotage the pair. He explains to his tradies how all his tools, plans and fixtures are to be kept under constant guard. I believe we’re witnessing his slow transformation into Howard Hughes.

1208306 Pictured: Ronnie

Fortunately for Ronnie, he and Georgia have a secret weapon for their bathroom. So secret, in fact, that it had to be delivered wrapped in opaque plastic and hidden from view of the other contestants. What incredible gambit are the pair about to introduce? Why, it’s a bath! No-one could have anticipated you’d add a feature THAT THE ROOM IS ACTUALLY NAMED AFTER. With this kind of zany, risk-taking strategy, could these two get crazy enough to do something like put beds in the bedrooms? Scott Cam takes a moment to mercilessly make fun of the couple for their cloak and dagger antics, and we all join in his derision.

Worried about the cost of bathroom renovations? We've crunched the numbers for you

It turns out Ronnie and Georgia’s archenemies Josh and Elyse have a secret weapon of their own. They’re putting in a pool, a move so bold none of the other contestants could possibly anticipate it. Except Ronnie and Georgia who are putting in a pool, Sticks and Wombat who are putting in a pool, Hannah and Clint who are putting in a pool and Jason and Sarah who are putting in a pool. Of course, given the pace Jason and Sarah work, erosion might put a pool in for them.

Speaking of the dawdling duo, Sarah is getting frantic as she tries desperately to find a tiler. In response, Jason springs into action by sitting on a pile of lumber and gazing wistfully into the middle distance.

jason at work A frenzy of activity

Ronnie and Georgia’s secret weapon is finally revealed, and it’s a pretty run-of-the-mill clawfoot bathtub. Who knows? Maybe it grants wishes or something. But as Ronnie lounges in the tub arguing with Georgia about the wisdom of incorporating electronics into the bathtub, it becomes clear that either Ronnie is gargantuan or the tub they’ve chosen is positively miniscule.

Tiny tubs aren’t the only problem at the worksite. Sticks and Wombat are having problems with the grating at the back of their bathroom, and Clint and Hannah’s walls aren’t straight. The latter development is a big issue, according to Foreman Keith. He tells Clint that the curved walls will become horribly obvious once tiles are installed, opining that tiles reveal all one’s indiscretions. No doubt, tiles catalogue these indiscretions to blackmail you at a later date.

Screen Shot 2017-07-31 at 3.35.28 pm Keith explains to Clint how tiles will one day shame and humiliate him

All the teams seem to be scrambling to correct major problems, so it’s a great time to force everyone to down tools and attend a presentation by Domain about what buyers in Elsternwick are looking for. We’re going to go out on a limb and say "finished houses", but why work on delivering that when you can sit through a PowerPoint presentation?

Back at the Block, Keith delivers the good news that Josh and Elyse, Hannah and Clint and Sticks and Wombat are ready to waterproof. Jason, meanwhile, can’t do anything until a plumber shows up (or, given Jason’s CHOSEN TRADE, perhaps a mirror). Ronnie and Georgia are also ages from waterproofing, but apparently moments away from killing one another.

As all the contestants ready themselves for a last push to the finish line, it turns out a bespoke grate Wombat drove three hours to pick up doesn’t fit in the pair’s bathroom. One could say it didn’t fulfill their … GRATE EXPECTATIONS.

Sorry.

Missed an episode? You can read our recaps of every episode of The Block 2017 here.

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