Pablo Escobar’s brother is launching a cryptocurrency: Diet Bitcoin
This coin might be bad enough to ruin the Escobar family name.
Roberto Escobar, biological brother of Pablo "Yes that Pablo Escobar" Escobar is launching his own cryptocurrency under the Escobar Inc. family brand name.
It's a bitcoin fork called Diet Bitcoin (DXX), and it's identical to bitcoin in every single way but for one key difference.
"We are identical in numbers to Bitcoin, except we are 4000 times cheaper right now," said Escobar Inc. COO Daniel Reitberg to TNW. "Buy as many dietbitcoins as you can afford!" said Reitberg. "The value will be very high."
The exclamation mark was not present in the original quote, but seemed like it should be.
Diet Bitcoin's main competition in this hot marketplace will undoubtedly be the equally legitimate Bitcoiin2Gen cryptocurrency, endorsed by Steven Seagal.
The Diet Bitcoin website also comes with a book written by Roberto Escobar, in which he insists that bitcoin was created by the US government.
"The world is going to see that this was created by them," the book reads. "And when they see it, it is too late, and when CIA founds out that the world knows about this, the CIA is going to sell all of their coins, and they will destroy the value of Bitcoin."
"You can stick with your worthless coins," Escobar says. "Keep the Ethereum, Keep the TRON, keep the Ripple, keep the Bitcoin. You will see what happens. They will all go to zero, almost zero. But not my coin. Because my coin, this is going to be my new work in life."
Pablo Escobar's operation produced far too many drugs for authorities to ever recover and destroy all of it, but it seems possible that a lot of it was right under Roberto's nose this whole time.
"Why would anyone on the planet buy bitcoin or any other cryptocurrency where there is no real team behind it?" Escobar Inc. CEO Olof Gustafsson says. "We at Escobar Inc are committed to support the cryptocurrency dietbitcoin fully and are managing the day-to-day operations of this new currency."
Don't touch this coin. Obviously. You don't know where it's been, but it's pretty obvious where it's going.
Disclosure: At the time of writing the author holds ETH, IOTA, ICX, VEN, XLM, BTC, NANO