This is the year you manage to surprise mum with breakfast in bed without dropping steaming hot porridge all over her.
It’s that time of year again – Mother’s Day – when small children get overly enthusiastic, and grown children panic about where to take mum for lunch (and if they remembered to order flowers).
Breakfast in bed has always been on the cards for Mother’s Day, but the rise of Pinterest and its superiority complex of quirky foods and stylish interiors has upped the game a bit. I’m afraid your vegemite-on-toast-and-a-cup-of-tea might not suffice.
If you’re going to surprise mum with breakfast in bed, remember to abide by these rules, less you end up with a disaster even Jamie Oliver would shake his head at and walk away.
The 10 commandments for breakfast in bed
1. Thou shall prepare the menu in advance.
Unless you’d like a breakfast of sausages, bread crusts, and that bit of cheese you found in the back of the dairy drawer?
2. Thou shalt not surprise mum when the breakfast tray is less than one foot from her head.
Croissant, meet floor.
3. Thou shalt not allow children younger than five to carry the tray.
Give them something easier to carry. Napkins, maybe.
4. Thou shalt make the hot beverages with the skill and love of one who thrives on caffeine.
Because nobody likes the lukewarm tea a toddler made. There’s a time and a place for pretending to be proud of their failed culinary skills, and that time is not this morning.
5. Thou shalt not decline to “jazz it up a bit”.
A flower in a jar will make the receiver forget that the toast is burnt. Breakfast in bed is not just about the breakfast.
6. Thou shalt take great care when including eggs, ensuring the runny-to-delicious ratio is of an adequate quality for bed-eating.
Nothing puts a smile on your mum’s dial like yolk on her pyjamas.
7. Thou shalt not neglect preparing the fruit.
An apple says you need to lose weight. A cut up apple, arranged on a plate, says ‘I love you’.
8. Thou shalt provide both alcoholic and non-alcoholic options.
Shockingly, many* people don’t enjoy downing champagne and orange juice thirty seconds after waking up.
*many, not all.
9. Thou shalt make enough food for all participants to snack on.
Is there anything more awkward than eating while three pairs* of beady eyes watch you?
*based on a family of four. Your family may vary.
10. Thou shalt stick around long enough to keep your mum company, then go clean up.
Pro tips to make your breakfast in bed amazing
You’ve got to step up your game when it comes to serving food at places not at the table. If it’s not an Instagram-worthy display of breakfast goods and fancy flowers, did it ever really happen?
- 1. Put butter and jam in a ramekin, because you’re fancy like that.
- 2. Grab a single flower from the garden (or the bunch of flowers you have waiting for her) and pop it in a small vase. If you don’t own a small vase (and many of us outside the Pinterest community don’t), pop it in a glass.
- 3. Add a glass of orange juice, even if she doesn’t usually drink it. Bright, happy colours = better tasting breakfast. It’s been proven by science, or something.
- 4. Make extra toast so everyone can nibble on something. Otherwise you will sit there and try to have a conversation with Mum, while she is the only one eating. Awks.
- 5. It is a well-known fact that toast cut into triangles is superior than toast cut into rectangles, unless you are dealing with sourdough.
- 6. Pastries were made for breakfast in bed. Use them to your advantage.
- 7. If you don’t have a tray handy, lay out breakfast on a wooden chopping board. Better yet, pop it in a bento box! Those sides are handy for holding food in. One might even think that’s what they were made for…
- 8. Don’t forget the napkins. Somehow breakfast in bed is always messier than breakfast at the table.