How to find yourself in your 20s

Sal and Al share the moments and life lessons that have helped them learn more about themselves in their 20s.

Have you ever felt a bit lost in life? Join the club, chick. This week, Sal and Al share the moments and life lessons that helped them on the journey to finding themselves in their 20s (whatever that means!).

LISTEN TO EP #307 OF TWO BROKE CHICKS

• Read transcript for episode #307 of Two Broke Chicks

  Transcript automatically generated via https://otter.ai. Its accuracy may vary.

  Alex Hourigan
  You can change your hair, and you can change your clothes. You can change your mind. It's just the way it goes. But you'll always find your way back home. Hannah Montana.

  Sally McMullen
  I really just really hits every time our Lord and Saviour, saviour Hannah Montana also.

  Alex Hourigan
  All righty. Hey, chicks. I'm Al. And I'm Sam. And this is to break chicks. The show that shares life lessons for the girls, from the girls. And honestly, what a vibe to me back in the studio. It's been a while has been Yeah, Mitch did show yeah, salesman to New Zealand. I don't think anything's happened for me. But

  Sally McMullen
  recording from the j say, Yeah, we

  Alex Hourigan
  went to the Gold Coast recorded with the happy hour checks. And then we recorded on their podcast and with George Stephenson on her podcast, busy, busy few days,

  Sally McMullen
  busy checks,

  Alex Hourigan
  the checks. But today, we have a super fun topic that we're going to discuss, we've been really excited to do this topic as well. And we wanted to talk about finding yourself in your 20s This is such like an open conversation, but probably a tricky one to have, especially with yourself. Because it's so open and it is so hard. And I don't actually think there is a moment in life where you're like, done. But it is a thing that you can you know, feel a bit more secure and and feel like you do understand yourself and you have kind of found who you are a little bit more, rather than feeling lost or feeling like you're like, what, what am I doing? Which I think I have felt that way. In my life a lot previously. Yeah. But before we get into the episode, we'd like to share our life lesson of the week. So sour loaded by life best friend and soulmate. What's your life lesson? Get too shy. I'm blushing.

  Unknown Speaker
  flirty.

  Sally McMullen
  So my life lesson of the wake is to share your accomplishments with the people that you love. Because they're literally your biggest hot girls. So I feel like Al and I get to do a lot of really cool shit with our job. You know, we're always off galavanting living the highlife Not really, but we work really hard for everything that we have. And sometimes I don't know, just start like, share some of the wins that we have with say like my mom or dad when we're on the phone or you know, like, I feel a bit like awkward like talking about the cool things that we have going on or, and if we're like doing really well on the charts, or whatever it is. And then I always told my sister and then she'll fill them in. And then they'll be like, Oh, you didn't tell me about this or this or this. And this week, I caught up with my mom, my dad and my nan all on the phone for like hour long conversations. And they were just hyping both of us up so much and we're saying how proud they were of me and I was like this is actually really nice.

  Unknown Speaker
  I got a text from her dad.

  Alex Hourigan
  Oh my god. No, I got a text from a dad this morning at 6:52am completely unprompted. And it just said so proud of you to Gil's Greg Jake's on Sunday at 930. And he goes, Hey, Bugsy, someone said you have written up in the Telegraph newspaper today. What's going on with that? And I was like, oh,

  Unknown Speaker
  what's happening happened? Yeah. And then

  Alex Hourigan
  yeah, it was that like thing from an event. So it was like actually nothing

  Sally McMullen
  literally, but out of all of the things that we have achieved in recent months, all the cool things that we have going on, literally that feature in the bloody is what like my nan coding, not like the proudest moment of her whole life. Yeah. So I think no matter what it is big or small, share your wins with your loved ones. Because first of all, they love to hear it like your parents and your grandparents love that shit. And also, it's really nice to like hear them say nice things to you know, proud. Yeah. Or be proud. Proud to like, say like as in like, yeah, you know what I mean? I hear Yeah. What's your life lesson?

  Alex Hourigan
  Cute? Well, my life lesson is, by the time this episode comes out, it'll be the start of November, which means it's fucking Christmas. Okay, leg goodies, man legit. I am already on my Christmas shopping one because I love it and two because it's the only thing that brings me joy. I have been looking for a new Christmas tree. I've been on Facebook marketplace. I've been doing the damn thing because as well, you know when you find something really good for someone but it's on AT T and then you look at the date that it'll come. And it's like, the sixth of January. You're like, dammit. So my life lesson is to start your Christmas shopping now. And I'm gonna give you the hookup on some dates to do your Christmas shopping because my biggest tip for your Christmas shopping is also sound over here shopping journalists. So here's a little insight into that part of our lobes is to shop on sale events. I know we've said this, but here are the sale events for the rest of the year that you can get your Christmas shopping done with heaps of savings and also maybe get yourself a little something treat yourself. Christmas is for everyone. Me? Yeah. You know who like that?

  Sally McMullen
  Me? Every time shit.

  Alex Hourigan
  Um, so for the rest of the year, we've got click frenzy coming up next week. So that's on the eighth of November, put that in your diaries, then Singles Day on the 11th of November. Then Black Friday, the big kahuna, the head honcho, the every single brand will have a sale on trust me, is happening on the 25th of November. So if you get paid at the end of the month, make sure you hold on to your paycheck because I always get to Black Friday. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm like dammit.

  Sally McMullen
  I'm like after pay. It's me again. Yeah.

  Unknown Speaker
  I'm sorry.

  Sally McMullen
  I've come back. I'm coming back. I'm

  Alex Hourigan
  coming back view. And then Cyber Monday is right. And then Cyber Monday is on the 28th of November. And those are probably the four biggest shopping events from now until the end of the year to save big cash money.

  Sally McMullen
  And then if you do your Christmas shopping on Black Friday, you get so much of it out of the way with like a month to spare before Christmas. It's the best feeling so you save money save time save bloody mente Bay. That happens on Christmas Eve. Sketch Up and checks.

  Alex Hourigan
  Yeah, also, we're gonna put together like a bunch of Christmas gift guides on in the gramme. So if you are stuck on what to buy, if you feel like you suck at giving presents,

  Sally McMullen
  we're really good. I was gonna say I don't want to brag, but we the best gift givers. Yeah,

  Alex Hourigan
  I know. I've already got sales Christmas present. I can't stop telling her about it. Like I can't. I got so vain like,

  Unknown Speaker
  and I might laugh every time I get drinks. I'm like, I'm here to tell you it sounds like no.

  Alex Hourigan
  Literally, I literally got it the other day. And it arrived. Yeah. And then Rob was like, how you not gonna give this to her for two months? And I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know, is actually gonna be a struggle. I don't think I can have drinks with you for the next two months until Christmas. This is. I'm just kidding. Let's be honest. Yeah. Now that we've ticked off one of our love languages, for this episode, we've managed to actually

  Sally McMullen
  words of affirmation and give giving.

  Alex Hourigan
  We're going to jump straight into the episode. Okay, so finding yourself in your 20s. As we said, this isn't, you know, a stage that you can probably get to that you're like, ticked on God, we could check that off the list. But I think we can all relate to the notion of feeling a little bit lost in our 20s. And maybe whether it's not knowing what you wanted to do, or whether you know, you didn't have many friends that you felt you connected with, whatever it is, I think we've all been there. And I think I can definitely say for myself, that I probably feel the most secure in my 20s now than I ever have, which is great. How do you feel about like you and your 20s?

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, it's wild, because I'm in my very late 20s. Now, and looking back at the beginning, it doesn't

  Alex Hourigan
  need to put a very on that. You're like, I'm Oh, I'm 40?

  Sally McMullen
  No, but I'm, you know, coming to the end of my 20s now, and looking back. First of all, I can't believe that it's been almost 10 years, like I've been in my 20s for almost a decade now. And I'm like Who's that? Like, literally when I think back to little Sal at uni? Yeah, I think there was just so much pressure on what to do with my career and life and everything. And I think I just was always so down on myself and thinking that I would never do anything cool with my life or, you know, really Yeah. And I think I proved myself right. So

  Alex Hourigan
  like a really crap best friend and I literally,

  Sally McMullen
  but I was saying to Chris the other day when I was talking about, you know, some of the things that we had coming up, and I just stopped and was like, Oh, my God, I wonder if, like 20 year old Sally if she looked at myself now if she'd be proud, or if she'd be like, what Kool Aid? I think so. But I think yeah, I think I would be very proud of how far I've come which is nice and shocked. Yeah. I guess it's one of those errors.

  Alex Hourigan
  Okay. All right. So Sal and I both gonna share our top three life lessons that we learned to try and find yourself in your 20s. And starting with that, why don't you kick us

  Sally McMullen
  off, actually. So I think my first tip on learning to find yourself in your 20 years is to lean into your aesthetic. I know that sounds really shallow, and it probably kind of is, but why not. But I think for me growing up in high school, like, Y'all know, this, I was a massive amo. And because of that, you know, I was severely bullied in high school, which was fine. And, you know, I was teased for having a shag mallet, and wearing all black and all of that. And not that I ever really strayed from that, but I feel like in my 20s I was like, No, this is who I am. Like, this isn't a phase. You know, and just really leaning into that and not being swayed by trends or people being like, really, you're gonna wear that you're gonna wear like stacks platforms to our unique graduation. Like, that's fucking weird. Or, you know, like having people I remember like walking around uni wearing, you know, whatever crazy getup I was wearing at the time, and literally having people like their heads turning and being like, Oh, my God, like a really wearing that. And I just think that that made me feel really insecure for a long time. But because I am such like a stubborn ass, I was like, No, them, I'm going to continue wearing it as I can convey. But I think that now I just don't really care what anybody thinks. Because I'd never I tried not to let that get me down. And I think because of that. Now, of course, like I love if there's like a cool trend that I really think represents who I am as a person. I'm like, sure, like, I'll play with that. But I feel like my style really represents who I am. And I feel so much more confident. Because of that.

  Alex Hourigan
  I think people also admire it about you as well. Like, when you are wearing you know, your funky glasses that are like bright orange and like leopard fur coat. And you look like a mix between Elton John and the nanny. That is about but people look at you. And they be like, like when we're in the office. Like no one's like, oh my god, she's dressed like crazy. It's like, that sounds like that is just you and it's like, admired. Yeah, that you kind of express your well, at least that's what I

  Sally McMullen
  think. But I think that more people do admire that as you get older, maybe when you're in high school or in uni, people, I feel it's a reflection of themselves and their insecurity that they're like, I feel like I could not wear that, you know, stand out like that, or whatever it is. Whereas in your 20s People start to admire that. So stick to your guns and just don't feel the need to change yourself or what you like to fit in.

  Alex Hourigan
  I think people can find it difficult, though, to find their aesthetic totally like, it's, I mean, you're kind of lucky to have found that and know what that is for you so early on and be able to stick to it. Whereas like some people like I don't know, I don't know what I like, I don't know what I like to wear. Because as well, the fashion industry changes so quickly. So like if you do feel that way. And if you do feel like I don't know, like, I don't know what to wear. I do that all the time, like my aesthetic changes all the time. But I still have things that I like to wear. And that's okay, too. Like, you don't need to change everything you do for other people just wear what you want to Yeah, and I think as well for me, I never felt confident to wear some of the things that I wanted to earlier on. And so it's like, I would want to wear cowboy boots or I would want to wear you know, something unique and wonderful and loud about I would think, Oh, I can't pull that off. And then I literally just was like, Wait, who's convincing me of that?

  Sally McMullen
  Me? That's fine. Yeah, exactly. I

  Alex Hourigan
  was like, I was so consumed with someone thinking that oh, like I couldn't pull it off or whatever. But when you wear it, you convince everyone else that you can pull it off. Exactly. So I'll just be like, give him a damn cowboy boots now. So yeah, I think don't feel like you can't wear something because it's not on trend.

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, exactly. Or don't feel like your style can't evolve as well. That's not what I'm saying. Yeah, just like feel confident to wear and look however you want basically.

  Alex Hourigan
  Love it be a little emo baby.

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah. All right. What's your first life lesson? Now?

  Alex Hourigan
  My first one is probably one of the hardest things I had to learn in my 20s but it was learning to be on my own. And there's been a few instances in cases where I've been on my own that I had to learn through that. So the first one was 100% when I moved out of home, I you know, loved kind of going home and having a family there that would it would be Like, Oh, how was your day and then we'd all watch TV together and, you know, eat dinner and things like that. And so then when I moved out of home, I had a roommate, but we weren't super close. And so it kind of went from, you know, being able to go home and chat to the people that you've spoken to, for the last 20 years, to just no one, like, yeah, like I checked my roommate, but it wasn't the same. And so I definitely felt this sense of emptiness within a home that I didn't quite know how to navigate. I was going home three nights a week when I first moved out of home because I just, I couldn't cope. And then, like mum, and dad was saying to me, like, you can move back because I moved out at I think 20 or 21. Like I was young. I know some people move out younger, but I was kind of thinking that I failed. I thought, you know, when I moved out, I was telling everyone that I was moving out of home and I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna go live in Rose Bay and whoo, boy, woman. Yeah. And then I did it. And I was like, I hate this. I was like, I just feel so lonely. I hate like waking up and like, the rush of the house I hate, you know, not fighting with my sister about who gets to get in the shower first being like, my towel was in there, but my clothes were in there. And then like coming home at the end of the day. And you know, Mom and Dad were like, you can come back if you want. And I was like, no, because then I feel like I failed. So I had to have this like transition basically, of, you know, moving to a different area that I grew up with, it was 40 minutes away. Like, it's not that dramatic, but still moving away from like, the friends that I had grown up with, from my family that I lived with for 20 years, it was definitely a lot lonelier than I expected it to be. And then trying to make new friends in an area that I didn't, you know, grow up in. And then on top of that, then I also broke up with my partner. And I had been in relationships for five years since like 18, to about 23. Yeah, like your whole adult life, this was probably the hardest stage of my life, of being in relationships from, you know, my teens to my early 20s. And then not having that crutch anymore. And it was such a strange thing that happened. But not like a strange thing that happened. It happens to people all the time. But the way I felt about it was like I was the only person in my life. And that's not true at all. Because you know, you were there. You're always you're like, hi, it's me, God get rid of me. But I think, even though learning to be on your own, is one of the hardest lessons you will learn in your 20s it is without a doubt the best one you can ever, ever, ever learn. Because you learn to just love your own company. And before I got in relationship to the five years, I fucking loved being on my own, I was like, I'm gonna read my Smarty little fairy book, I'm gonna watch The Vampire Diaries, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna scroll online shopping for hours or have a tea and watch YouTube, like, I just would love being on my own. And then you know, when I relied on relationships too much, then I, I lost that. But then also now I'm in my 20s I live out of home, I don't know how to be on my own anymore in this environment. So it was such a weird transition for me. But learning to be on your own is literally one of the best things you can do. And if you're struggling with that, I would identify the three things that you really, really love doing by yourself that you can't do with someone else. So that might be you know, reading your fairy porn book. That's a personal one for me. You know, but for example, I know, another one of my best friends, she loves going for just our long walks by herself, you know. And like listening to her favourite playlist. And that's kind of her thing that she does on her own, that she really enjoys her own space because as well, if you don't enjoy your own company, how is anyone else going to enjoy your company, you can't rely on other people to keep you entertained, you need to be able to entertain yourself. So that way like, you don't over rely on anyone else.

  Sally McMullen
  I saw a quote the other day that was kind of depressing, but true. And it's that you are the only constant in your life too. So I think that you need to learn to be on your own because at some stage in your life, you're gonna have to be Yeah, so it's better to prepare yourself now. And it's really fun. It's so fun. It's staying on your toes, you know? Yeah, love. But also don't leave me.

  Alex Hourigan
  Never darling. Never, never, never. All right.

  Sally McMullen
  My next life lesson that I think helped me find myself in my 20s is to make decisions for yourself and not for the Uh, you know, pressures of people around you or what you think other people expect of you or want from you. So I think an example of where I did this and it went wrong was at uni, in like the early 20s hands. That's when like journalism was really going through a shake up and everybody was being like, it's over for y'all. Like, you're never gonna get a job. Remember that like journalism's dead blah. And so like, a lot of people around me were, you know, saying things like this being like, Are you sure like, you're really going to study journalism now like, and I was like, Well, I've been wanting to do this my whole life, like, ever since I was in primary school, I wanted to be a music journalist, I'd never imagined myself doing anything else. And then also all of my uni lecturers and tutors were saying the same thing. So just I, you know, was really second guessing what I was going to do with my life. I was graduate, I graduated when I was 20. Like, I literally started uni when I was 17, and graduated when I was 20. So I was very young, and was being told that I just wasted the last three years of my life, I needed a master's vote. And that's why so I basically did a master's, because everybody was telling me that I wouldn't be able to get a job as a journalist. So I did a master's thinking, Okay, well, maybe I can then do a PhD. And, you know, be an academic and either, you know, do research and write papers, or, you know, work at a university or be a lecturer or whatever, which I would hate, like, I would hate being a teacher, I respect to anybody who can do it, both mine and Alex's entire family is made up of teachers, but it's just not for me. But anyway, I ended up doing my masters and like, you know, did pretty well graduated with a first class thesis. Looking back, it was such a waste of time, because after that, I got a job straight away. And like, look at me now, you know, who would have thought me because what I do now didn't even exist as a career when I was at uni. So I just completely boxed myself in by like other people's expectations. And I really wish I just trusted my gut and been like, I can just do this. It's no big deal. It was one year at least I didn't completely flop at it. But a lot of money. It is a lot of money, a lot of money and and a lot of hours writing an 18,000 word thesis on Lord of the Rings. All right.

  Alex Hourigan
  Also, there's a lot of pressure, I think, to know what you want to do when it's the age to go to uni, or whenever it is, when you graduate be like, Okay, what do you want to do? Now you need to go study this for three years, we have friends in this industry that never went to uni, that, you know, kind of worked as within an office as like a cord office coordinator, and then kind of moved through it that way got experience, and now they work as a journalist, and have their own podcasts. Like there's so many different ways that you can go about it.

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, exactly. And obviously, that's very specific to our industry, but I think it goes with anything and like you always say this Allah if you don't, if you don't try something new, or if you don't make that leap, it's kind of like, you know, you're either gonna stay where you are, or you're gonna discover something really cool, that you love or discover something that you don't like, and then you know, and they're all like, they're all great things. So I think, yeah, that's something that I, you know, wish I knew. But going through that, that experience helped me realise exactly what I want. And I think I'm exactly where I was meant to be. What's your next one?

  Unknown Speaker
  Okay, this a bit dark.

  Alex Hourigan
  Going through, when I wrote this one down, I'd made it in a good way, though, that a lot of people are temporary, but all of them are lessons. So and that doesn't even mean that someone can be a temporary part of your life. And it doesn't mean that they left in a bad way or that, you know, it wasn't a lovely experience for you. Sometimes things just fizzle. But everything that you go through with relationships with other people, there is something to take away from it both good and bad. So for example, there have been people that have like, come into my life when I really needed someone like that, that really kind of pulls me out of, you know, maybe a bit of a bad headspace or I just needed someone that like I could go out with on the weekend and they'd be really fun and time, Charlie, yeah, like a bit of a good time, Charlie, but that's not sustainable. Like, that's all the friendship was. And so obviously, that would fizzle, but at that point in time, that's what I needed. That's kind of what was filling my cup and people can grow and they can change and they can move on. And even with relationships as well. You know, not all relationships last but I can definitely say from all the ones that I've had, there has been things that I've learned about what I can do and then what I want and don't want, and sometimes you don't even realise At the time, like now when I not to, like bring everything back to romantic relationships as well, but it's the easiest. It's relied on example as well. But now when I'm like dating my current partner, and they do certain things that like I just wouldn't even expect. And it's like, well, so what is this? way oh my god, like he's just coming into SIBO. The other day when I just said I was hungry, I didn't even ask for it. That was That is great, what a vibe. But as well, like, even co workers that you worked with maybe in your first job that you don't talk to anymore, but they were still someone in your life. You don't have to mourn it, you don't have to mourn people that you know, aren't in your life anymore. You can just recognise them for everything that they brought to your life. And the lesson you learn from it, and who how that's made you grow.

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, so true. It's like relationships of any kind are seasonal. So I think that they either can serve you for that one point in your life, or they can come back. So I think a lot of people in their 20s You know, grow apart from their friends who they were really close with in high school, and you do more than that. But I think either it was serving you at the time, or like relationships ebb and flow. So you can also leave that door open for the relationship to come back later in your 20s. Like it's not completely lost. And that is so normal. Yeah, I actually had a dream about a bunch of people that we used to work with last night when I woke up feeling so sad, because I missed them all, like so much. And just all of the fun times that we had. But then I was kind of thinking at the time, I was like, oh, but like how lucky were we to have like all of those mates and nothing left on bad terms. We're still friends with all of them. But we just don't see them every day now. But I've kind of like had that realisation I was like, Don't be sad. Like

  Alex Hourigan
  yeah, like how good yeah, what's it? What's the saying? Don't cry because it's over smile because it happens. You hear that Brody? Or daddy? Yeah, but I think as well like, what you're saying, you can have your best friend in the entire world, but life just happened and you can grow in different ways and you know, grow away from each other because you grow towards different people more. And that okay, yeah, I think realising that, you know, not everyone's going to be in your life, until you kick the bucket. That's just not

  Sally McMullen
  sustainable. Like, no one's gonna be around when you do kick the bucket.

  Alex Hourigan
  We're gonna just be put in the same coffin.

  Sally McMullen
  Literally, we should organise that.

  Alex Hourigan
  I know, but I just get really stressed because whenever I think about the fact that one of us will die before the other one, now we're gonna die at the same time. I just yeah, let's not focus anyway. It really stresses me out.

  Unknown Speaker
  It is stressful. Really? Sure.

  Alex Hourigan
  I reckon it'll be me.

  Sally McMullen
  Well, if you do I'll be I come in shortly after

  Unknown Speaker
  you're like, can I just

  Alex Hourigan
  I just finished singing Rihanna. Who's That Chick? And you're like, can you just let me thank you. Alright, Charlotte,

  Unknown Speaker
  actually, take me home daddy is like sound you like you're doing the day.

  Sally McMullen
  You're trying to contract?

  Alex Hourigan
  He's like trying to get you out in open and I'm like,

  Sally McMullen
  not us faking out? Oh, fully.

  Alex Hourigan
  Oh, we should. Like now.

  Sally McMullen
  After this. Yeah. Okay. All right. You guys will never hear from us again. Okay. All right.

  Alex Hourigan
  What's your for now? For me?

  Sally McMullen
  My finale is don't compare your life and where you are to other people. Because I think that is something that we all do in our 20s Because everybody has this timeline expectation set up like, you finish uni at this mall. First of all, you go to uni. Yeah. Number one, then you finish at this particular time you go straight into your career, you settle down, you buy a house, you get married, you have kids, yada, yada, yada, which is great for some people. But it's just so unrealistic to think that life is gonna fall that way. And also, I think that more and more people are realising that's not what I want. And I think that is so fine. So at this point in my life, I don't think I ever want to get married. But I also say Never say never. I don't think I want to have kids. And buying a house is like not really something that's on the top of my priority list right now. But with a lot of my friends who are in you know, a similar life stage, that's kind of what they're working towards. And even though this is something that I've been so sure of, I feel like pretty much my whole life. I still get that little niggling feeling when I hear of people getting engaged or talking about, you know, that they're having discussions or getting engaged that I might, like, you know, like people are progressing, and I'm not, I'm just staying at this one spot in my life and like in 10 or 20 years, am I gonna look back and regret that? Or like, what are people going to think? Like? Are they going to look at my relationship and think like, oh, boy, you know, it's not legitimate because you guys aren't engaged, or married, or whatever. And that lasts for maybe half a second. And then I realise what anybody else thinks? Because I don't, I would rather do that and follow my guns and do what feels authentic to me, then follow a timeline that society has set out for me when it doesn't feel right. And I think so many people fall into that trap, and then you end up settling. So I have quite a few friends who, you know, would, in their early 20s, would go through a big break up, and then be like, Oh, my God, what am I going to do now? Like I always said, I was gonna get married at 25 have kids by 26? How can you

  Alex Hourigan
  plan now? Yeah, you can't plan this stuff. And like, I've got friends that do this as well. I've got one friend in particular that literally can keep track of everyone from high school that's getting engaged or has a baby. And my like, counter argument to that is like, I'll be like, Okay, who would you marry? Like, right now? Who would you want to marry? And they're like, Oh, well, I don't know. I haven't met anyone. I'm like, exactly. Yeah, you don't like I can understand people wanting that. But you don't. This might be a bit controversial, but you don't want to get married. You want a life partner, like you want your person. And that's two different things. Yeah.

  Sally McMullen
  And that's where I feel like, well, that. That's where I am. So yeah, I think that's always my argument. But I think it's easy for for me to say that because I feel quite sure about myself and always have but even I still have that insecurity. But I think you just you can't compare yourself and where you are to anybody else. Everybody's life is so different. And at the end of the day, you're only the main character of your own story. False.

  Alex Hourigan
  I'm the main character of everyone's I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. I know. I'm not like sarcastic over sexual like sidecar. Shut up and I'm like,

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, my gay best friend.

  Unknown Speaker
  Really? Literally, but yeah, okay, I'm alright with that.

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, you're like, I'll lean into it. But yeah, you're only the main character of your own story. And you're a secondary character of everyone else's life, which can be hard to grapple with. But at the same time, as much as people or society put pressure on you, it's not really their business. And at the end of the day, they're really focused on themselves. So you just do you, boo,

  Alex Hourigan
  you just store your bar. Okay, so my final life lesson for finding yourself in your 20s is a quote from my favourite artists slash philosopher. So I'll paraphrase but you'll get the gist, you'll get the gist is that you can change your hair, and you can change your clothes, you can change your mind. It's just the way it goes. But you'll always find your way back home, Hannah Montana.

  Sally McMullen
  I really just really hits every time now Lord and Saviour, Saviour, Hannah Montana also banger on absolute here, we'll put it in the show. Enjoy

  Alex Hourigan
  shownotes. But basically, everything is going to change, life is gonna change, nothing is gonna stay the same. Some changes will be good, some changes will be bad, but you'll always be where you're supposed to be, you'll always end up where you need to go. There's like that whole saying of whatever is meant to find you will find you and ever. Whatever is not meant for you will either leave or miss you. Like will kind of like sail by you. And it's not meant for you. Yeah. So everything happens for a reason, that moment where you know, you're going for a job and you really wanted that job and you think it's a dream job and you don't get it and you're like yeah, I know. But then you know, you end you will end up somewhere that you're like, This is why this is why this was supposed to happen. Or you know, when you get that parking ticket, like why is this happening? Maybe you end up marrying the parking officer who knows, reaching here, but everything happens for the biggest reason and it's always so crazy. When you backtrack it being like, I think about things that are happening in my life now that like for example, if I never started working at finder, no one, no one in my life right now would be in my life. Because for example, I can literally list everyone one. Obviously, you I would never have met you. If I never worked at finder. I never would have met Halina, who is now my roommate and also one of my best friends. I never would have met linear Who I then met Sean and pia through through that I now met my now partner through. It all happens for a reason. And it is just the butterfly effect is so real, like if I never started that one job, and I had like three jobs that I was going for, and if I didn't do that one, none of this would be happening. And it's really scary to think that because I'm like, I don't want to be anywhere else. Yeah. So I know if you're thinking right now, like if something bad's happening, or, you know, things are changing, and moving changes, so scary, changes horrible. Neither of us like it, we hate it. But you know, it's all going to be fine. Because you can change your hair, and you can change your clothes. You can change your mind. That's just the way it goes. You can say goodbye. Or you can say hello, but you always find your way back.

  Unknown Speaker
  That is a great song.

  Sally McMullen
  Please feel free to go listen, if I learned anything from this episode. I hope it was that. That's a bloody Bob.

  Alex Hourigan
  Oh, yeah. I don't want China. There are a lot of life lessons to take from that show. Would you do like a whole episode just on

  Sally McMullen
  that literally life lessons I learned from Hannah Montana. Yeah, to

  Alex Hourigan
  fodder. Another one. Nobody's perfect. I want to work it again and again, just to get it right. Anyway, we'll move on because we could go on forever. Well, found check done. Literally. Yeah. What a lovely episode.

  Sally McMullen
  It's beautiful. I

  Alex Hourigan
  know. I hope everyone feels a little bit better about their 20s if they're feeling a bit lost after listening to this. But anyway, before we wrap the episode, we love to give our product recommendation goals for the week. All right, Sally, Bella, what do you got? Sally? Bella, Bella, Bella boo boo.

  Sally McMullen
  Energy. Yeah, my product recommendation of the week is a Philips garment steamer. You are a grandma that has completely wrong. I know. But I've been wanting a steamer for so long. I feel like ever since I watched the hills in high school, and they would be using one at Teen Vogue and their internships all the time. I was like, I need one of them. But seriously, it's just the best thing ever. It saves so much time. It's perfect for you know getting the creases out of your silk linen garments. And I just love it to invest in Yeah, it's like a handheld portable. It was I think $114 And I got mine from my, but you can get them from Amazon being the Kmart. Yeah, you can get cheaper one. Yeah. From Yeah, Kmart target and the like. But I definitely back the Phillips on that I bought.

  Alex Hourigan
  Very, very good. Very, very good. Yeah, say I can't iron so I need to just get one of them. Yeah, can I and I know how to do it. But I hate doing it. And then it always crinkles?

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, it takes so long, having an ironing board is just so bulky and annoying. And if you have silk, you don't want to be like soy with a fucking iron on it. So a steamer is perfect. Fair enough. I get one what's your product wreck?

  Alex Hourigan
  Alright, my product direct is a product that bid on theme with our app. You know, I like to go with a bit of a theme. And it's the new book by Alexis Fernandez. And it's called the neuroscience of self love. And she's also the host of the podcast Do you fucking mind and also the author of her first book, be bold. And this book is all about kind of fixing the relationship or not even fixing it, but developing the relationship you have with yourself and finding that self love, so that you can kind of give love to others and get love and return but not need to rely on anyone else for that. And I think it's all something that we all struggle with. It's not just a, you know, solution that you can find within a day or you just automatically love yourself. There's peaks and valleys to it. But I think as well the way that Alexis writes this book is it gives you actionable things you can do in your everyday life or when you're feeling maybe a little bit low or when you need to develop that relationship a little bit more. It's not fluffy, like there's actual actionable tips that you can do. And it's backed

  Sally McMullen
  by science to like I think she talks about in her books and on her podcast is backed by science and she has like yes and has studied this so she knows what she's talking about.

  Alex Hourigan
  It's not like run a bubble bath. Which also love my roommate and I was like I charge my crystals and had a bubble bath and I'd like go cake back

  Sally McMullen
  I love it so yeah, I was like you do

  Alex Hourigan
  Yeah, I was at but also sometimes you do just seem to do that. But basically I'm saying this is this isn't but yeah highly recommend and you can get it from Kmart Big W and it's 1999 I believe party

  Sally McMullen
  waggon very good stocking stuffer.

  Unknown Speaker
  Literally

  Sally McMullen
  friends, yeah, it's

  Alex Hourigan
  is a great great book to give to the girlies

  Sally McMullen
  love

  Alex Hourigan
  Oh yes please you're like I already bought it

  Sally McMullen
  fucking sorry about that

  Alex Hourigan
  yeah we did that went to the book by to drag queens and then we gave to each other at Christmas and we're like, is it it is for you good All righty chicks Well that is a wrap for today's episode of to broke chicks we hope you feel found loved and nurtured and ready to take on your 20s

  Sally McMullen
  Yeah, or your 30s or your 40 Yeah, all the rest of your life

  Alex Hourigan
  you know while we say this is like the life lessons to find yourself in your 20s It applies to all ages genders demographics Bing Bang Bang Well, thank you to our production team Prieta has audit and made in Katana studios for making this episode of tuba chicks happen. And don't forget to check out our mini episode that will be coming out this first day. We'll catch you then. Chickies

  Sally McMullen
  Bye bye.

  Alex Hourigan
  Bye bye, baby boats love you Love ya.

LINKS & RECEIPTS

Listen to You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home by Hannah Montana

PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS

Philips Garment Steamer

The Neuroscience Of Self Love by Alexis Fernandez

CHUCK US A FOLLOW

Follow us on Instagram @twobrokechicks

Follow us on TikTok @twobrokechicks_

Join our private Facebook Group 'Broke Chicks Club'

CREDITS

Hosts: Sally McMullen and Alex Hourigan

Executive producer: Pariya Taherzadeh

Studio: Made In Katana

Powered by Finder.

Head to www.finder.com.au/two-broke-chicks for an episode transcript.

Thanks for having us in your ear holes. We love to be here!